User talk:TeaGirl004/phitaihong

Hi! You're revision is pretty good. I think towards the ending of your section of Phi Tai Hong where it says: "Phi Tai Hong will often try to kill other living people in the same manner of which they had died themselves.[2]

As a consequence Phi Tai Hong are among the most feared ghosts, especially in the form known as Tai Thang Klom (ตายทั้งกลม) or Tai Thong Klom..."

I think you can shorten your first sentence to: "As a consequence Phi Tai Hong are among the most feared ghosts." and combine that to the previous paragraph since it is the same topic. You can then start introducing Tai Thang Klom and Tai Thong Klom in the next paragraph. I believe this would make your section a tad bit more organized. So you can start your next paragraph like: "In addition to Phi Tai Hong, there is another form known as Tai Thang Klom or Tai Thong Klom..." so on and so forth.

And your last paragraph of the section Phi Tai Hong, may you clarify what "this" means in the sentence: "Thai culture blames this lethal spirit as one of the ghosts that haunt houses and one of the most difficult to exorcise." Are you referring to Phi Tai Hong or Tai Thong Klom/Tai Tang Klom or both? If it is both, then I think the more appropriate word would be "these" so that it would give the reader a sense that you're talking about both spirits collectively rather than the the one you've previously mentioned.

Now, onto the next section. I think the heading should contain both names, not just Tai Thang Klom.

Other than that good job! Jessolovely (talk) 04:52, 15 April 2019 (UTC)


 * Jessolovely thanks for your peer review, it is helpful and gives a few stylistic and practical suggestions for the author to follow. TeaGirl004 I see that you are going to expand the second section which is a great next step. We also spoke about incorporating some Thai-language sources, and I just wanted to remind you that you are all set to do that (if you still want to, that is)! I would really like to see whether you can dig up some history on the origin of this mythology and its various incarnations in different regions. Great work so far, I'm really looking forward to seeing the final product! Gardneca (talk) 00:32, 22 April 2019 (UTC)