User talk:Teddythebear1999/sandbox

Hey Ted! I really enjoyed your first draft. It was concise yet informative. There was no indication of bias, and you reported everything as objectively as possible. Is there a related figure or graph that you'd want to add to your contribution? Additionally, is there any way you can expand on phrases like "more likely" with statistics or hard numbers/percentages. That would be all I suggest. Great job! Annalam9585 (talk) 01:44, 19 April 2018 (UTC)

Hi! I really like your integration of direct quotes. It's clear that you have a lot of evidence to back up your claims. I don't know if you have heard about this, but recently I've read news articles about how some police men are planting drugs on black people just so that they can arrest them. If you want to, I think that would be something interesting to add to your article and lengthen it. Other that that, it would be cool to see even more statistics relating to drug arrests. Also, I don't think have to capitalize "blacks" and "whites". Lastly, you might want to put your third citation by the last sentence, because other wise it looks like you aren't citing your last sentence, which needs a citation since you are talking about what someone else said.

Nina Thompson (talk) 01:39, 19 April 2018 (UTC)

Hi Ted! Your first draft was very informative and well organized. However, I think you should include specific data and statistics when you say "using data from..." because, what is the "data"? Additionally, is there some sort of conclusions sentence that can be added? it seems like an abrupt end of thought with your last sentence. Merrimanla (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 23:01, 23 April 2018 (UTC)