User talk:Thejakebunting/sandbox

Paul's Peer Review

Summary: "The main goals of this article seems to be to educate readers on the usage, history, and meaning of technology, which is done quite well." I would change this to be more affirmative. Like saying "the main goals of this article are-" instead of seems to be, because when using the word "seem" its kind of like saying you are unsure. But you read the article and know the points.

Bibliography: "Topic of sources can be very broad, from things like monkeys using tools to how technology has shaped history and its events." I would change this to "are broad" or "are broad and go over topics such as" or anything like that, but just more affirmative than "can be".

Assignment 7: I feel as though there is a lack of context throughout the paragraph. I would clarify what point you are proving, and to what section of the article this would be added to. I am confused as to what this paragraph is supposed to be about.