User talk:Thisaccountisforclass/sandbox

-- hello!

The expansion looks pretty good! Really increases the amount of detail. I think the content is solid and appropriate. My suggestions:


 * You put in so much new info that the section probably needs a couple of subheads. Maybe like "current therapies", "current explanations", "developing therapies" or something along those lines.


 * I'm sure you're already going to do this, but populate the text with article links


 * maybe provide a couple of references for the new therapies paragraph

Let me know if you have any questions!

Elcquid (talk) 16:33, 30 March 2018 (UTC)

Possible words to add citations to: Grammatical edits: Content edits: Opt1cs 17:02, 30 March 2018 (UTC)
 * endocarditis
 * osteomyelitis
 * persister cells
 * cytokines
 * gentamicin, tobramycin
 * "However staphylococcal biofilm"- add comma
 * "After the implantation of such devices, their surface"- change to "After implantation, the device surface..." or "After implantation, the surface of the device..."
 * "On the other hand," - not a phrase I would expect to see in an encyclopedia
 * "S. aureus biofilms have also been shown to have high resistance to host immune response." - possibly a new paragraph, since it's a different subject?
 * Possibly combine the two paragraphs on therapies
 * "A higher mortality is linked with multispecies biofilms." - should cite
 * "recent findings have shown that the biofilm matrix is composed with many water channels" - cite
 * Cite the last paragraph, or anywhere else where you say "recent findings..."