User talk:Tholin37/sandbox

11/14/2018 Evaluation by Mark Bauhofer
Mark Bauhofer (talk)
 * Points:
 * Grade:

Spelling/Grammar
Meets Expectations Didnt see any grammar changes or anything in specific spelling wise. article looks good and very factual!

Language
Meets Expectations

Organization
Exceeds Expectations

Coding
Exceeds Expectations

Validity
Exceeds Expectations

Completion
Exceeds Expectations

Relevance
Exceeds Expectations

Sarah Bethea's Peer Review
=Evaluations for Mitte paragraph=

11/07/2018 Evaluation by Sarah Bethea
Spelling/Grammar Meets Expectations

In some sentences, you spoke in present tense, while the other sentences were in past tense. Make sure all sentences are consistently in past tense. "they bred" vs "they breed".

In this sentence, "They needed to be the strongest dogs for the border police and be able to track down deserters and keep order at the check points" I would consider change the "they needed" part to something which sounds less like an opinion or formal. This change may not be crucial, but I think it would improve the paragraph.

In this sentence, "They will have those broad shoulders, sloping backs, large chests and good muscles", make edits to make the sentence past tense, and try to avoid describing the muscles as "good", in order to avoid opinion and informal language.

Language Meets Expectations

Language is concise and easy to understand

Organization Exceeds Expectations. The ordering of facts and topics in the article makes sense.

Coding Exceeds Expectations

Validity Exceeds Expectations

Completion Exceeds Expectations. The paragraph is very thorough and in depth!

Relevance Exceeds Expectations

Sources Exceeds Expectations

Sources seem solid and there are many references.

Citations Exceeds Expectations

Citations are in proper format

=Evaluations=

10/17/2018 Evaluation by Sarah Bethea
Spelling/Grammar Meets Expectations

“D day” should be changed to “D-day” including the hyphen. “Evasion” should be changed to “invasion”.

Place commas after dates, including one after “1944”

Perhaps consider changing “by the Canadians” to “by Canadian troops”, however I think the sentence works both ways.

Language Meets Expectations

Language is concise and easy to understand

Organization Exceeds Expectations

Coding Exceeds Expectations

Validity Exceeds Expectations

Completion Meets Expectations

I think more details could be given, but the important facts are all there.

Consider adding a date to the first sentence of your edit, to make it clear what time frame you are starting from. You mention the date “June 9”, but do not include a year in that sentence. While you make clear the years you are talking about in other sentences of the same paragraph, I do not think it would be too redundant to include a year date here as well.

Relevance Exceeds Expectations

Sources Exceeds Expectations

Sources seem solid!

Citations Exceeds Expectations

Citations are in proper format

Mark Bauhofer Peer Review
=Evaluations=

Spelling/Grammar
Meets Expectations You made the edits from Sarah's first edits, spelling and grammar look good!

Language
Meets Expectations

Organization
Exceeds Expectations

Coding
Meets Expectations

Validity
Exceeds Expectations

Completion
Meets Expectations

Relevance
Exceeds Ecpectations