User talk:ThomasDunker/sandbox

Hi Thomas,

I believe you are on the right track and I believe that you did an great job. The only few things that I can see is that you need to add link some of the vocabulary to other wiki pages that are already made. This will help the reader understand some of the vocabulary that you use throughout describing your topic. I also think that you may need to trim the wording and be more concise with exactly what you are trying to present. As well I think you could create a whole page on itself for the topics that you are talking on. Maybe you could spend time on Arsenic and how it affects Californians, or describe what rivers or water ways in California contain this contaminate. You focus on the world try to narrow it down to California and possibly make a wiki page on Arsenic in California and how it pertains to the Water in California.

Jeremiah Romero-Peer Review