User talk:Tikomkheidze/Black maternal mortality in the United States

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Overall Introduction revision Prevention s'n revision medical measures institutional measures sources --Liliput000 (talk) 22:53, 30 April 2022 (UTC)
 * Megan and Lauren had some really solid comments and suggestions so be sure to check their Peer Reviews!
 * I really appreciate how deeply and thoroughly you've engaged the article! It's hard work to close-read and fix up-- I commend it!
 * When you've done interspersed edits like yours, when you make your edits live, do them one at a time --- it's important to make the changes one at a time to keep the integrity of the edits clear.
 * As well, when you erase content, be sure to note in your edit description a little bit about why so that it doesn't ruffle feathers too badly!
 * I think it would make a lot of sense to link out to Maternal Health (Kat, Lauren, and Jo's page!) in the See Also section
 * I'm curious as to the choice of "how the mother handled the pregnancy or the delivery" just because when you word it this way, I feel like there's potential to infer blame there? I understand that it can also imply agency, so let me know...
 * Also in that same sentence you may want to keep "but is not associated with unintentional or secondary causes" because this just delineates the definition of maternal mortality to exclude such other causes of death...
 * Make sure you comb through to ensure that you've consistently capitalized Black in all appropriate instances (i.e. when referring to African American/Diasporic Black women)(also applies to next section)
 * Also in this section consider revising "American Indian" to "Indigenous American"
 * I'm not clear as to why there are many little paragraphs in each subsection -- I would think one paragraph per subsection (Medical, Institutional) is fine.
 * "It has been suggested that higher quality hospitals have multiple layers of care, such as administrative and physician advocates, that would assist in the collection of feedback." ---> I really don't know what this sentence is saying -- first, why "higher quality"; second, why "collection of feedback"? What stands out to me from the sentence is physician advocates.... but shouldn't it say "patient advocates"? because I feel like patient advocates would be helpful...
 * I would add embolism to the list of issues potentially leading to mortality
 * In the (current) last sentence of Institutional Measures it would be good to WikiLink racism (and maybe also poverty)
 * The 2018 NYC training and Lancet study could come at the end here because they're examples of institutional implementation of preventative measures?
 * What feedback would you like from me on your 4 potential source options?