User talk:Tito.why

How to kill a opossum.
Killing an opossum is very delicate work. First, you crap on it. Then you piss on the warm soft turds. It attracts the opossum. You then establish a bird's nest. It should be equipped with babies, crap, poop, fecies, scat, and turds. Followed by more crap. Once the opossum takes the bait, you then take an extremely large poop log. Usually produced by a male. You take it and shove it in the opossum's anal. This should stun the beast. You take the opossum inside and prepare to cook it with chicken. Then you stuff him in the dryer. After 32 minutes of continuous heat it will crap out its heart. Then you take the heart and stick it in a cops anal passageway. Then they will arrest you, you go to jail. You eat the heart. Then once you crap, the opossum will live and kill everyone... Yes everyone. Turds and all. Crap and all. Poop and pee. Broccoli and tator tots. More crap. Followed by a marathon of crapping. Thats how you kill a opossum.

http://www.247wildlife.com/photowildlifecontamination.html

How to make a John Travolta
Every loving mother would want nothing more than to create a fresh, homemade, delicious John Travolta for the whole family to eat.

The John Travolta was created in 1976 when the TV was pooped out of John Travolta's mouth. The crap was fat, big and deadly, little children were finding it extremely hot. The John Travolta's were banned for a while until now, when the FCC signed a contract with My Big Hairy Mom Corperation to distribute the tasty John Travolta's throughout every white, I repeat, white person's home.

The John Travolta is quite simply a chocolate colored piece of crap with an extremely creepy smile carved across it. It is only sold in South Korea and is extremely radioactive. But not so much that it can't be eaten. This wonderful poop smeer with a wierd smile is the pride and joy of all white people and Hollywood gay strippers everywhere.

In Mexico, this thing has been abandoned because it is too white and not beeny enough.

John Travolta's are very hard to create, but just catch your own crap in your hand as you sit on the seat, mash it up with the rest of the family's and carve a smile. Then place in the oven for fourteen minutes and make sure to use the special yellow pee icing. The John Travolta's will be just perfect.

WARNING: NOT FOR MEXICANS TO USE

http://www.ubersite.com/m/20025