User talk:Tjp47/sandbox2

Article Review
Research This article demonstrates research across a variety of types of sources (e.g. books, articles contemporary to the exhibition, current news articles). For readers wanting to learn more about the exhibit, the list of references provides a good starting point for further research. There are a few assertions in the article for which you may want to provide a reference, so as to avoid deletion or questioning by Wikipedians. For example, “the history of the expansion to the west is a vital component in explaining the structure of the United States’ national identity” may not be an obvious statement of fact to many readers (particularly those who are not American). Furthermore, when using a term like “vital,” it is important to explain how and why the expansion to the west is vital to American national identity. Language While the use of quotations is important to the understanding of your article, Wikipedia generally recommends minimizing their use. While you shouldn’t paraphrase the text labels for the artworks, you may be able to reduce the number of quotations in other sections of the article. You may want to review verb tense to ensure that it is consistent throughout the article. As mentioned in class, you should also review the Wikipedia Manual of Style/Words to Watch article (I’ve included a link on your talk page) to ensure that your diction doesn’t create the appearance of a biased point of view. Your content is fantastic in presenting an encyclopedic description of the exhibition and controversy, so make sure that your verbs, adjectives and adverbs maintain that neutrality as well. Organization The content of the article is very detailed and provides great insight into the exhibition and associated controversy. The draft article was organized into the following sections: Introduction, The Exhibition, The West and Revisionist Claims, The Thematic Layout of the Exhibition (with each of the 6 sections), Political Issues, Government Funding, Attendance and Exhibition Cancellations, Public Commentary, Artists, References. As discussed in class, you may want to reorganize the content of the article to better maintain the flow of the article. In particular, you may consider grouping together Attendance & Exhibition Cancellations and Public Commentary into a new section called Public Reaction. You also could combine Political Issues and Government Funding into a new category called something like Exhibit Legacy. Overall, you’ll want to have the article to follow an order of: description of the exhibition and controversy, (contemporary) public reaction, and long-term implications. Within each section of the exhibition, the content structure is very effective. This part of the article follows a very logical flow by providing an overview of the section, and then specific examples of paintings, a description of them, and their text labels. This helps to illustrate your argument. Images Your use of images is very effective in helping to support your argument. I might, however, recommend that you alter the placement of images, so as to minimize disruption to the text (e.g. within each exhibition section place images all on one side of the page; or group together images for each section of the exhibition and place this grouping together under the sub-heading before the text).