User talk:Tkamerso/sandbox

Article Review: Expanding Smith's background and providing history was a good add. The article seemed non-biased and neutral. I would suggest hyperlinking the "1993 March on Washington", "don't ask don't tell policy", and the "International Gay and Lesbian Orginization". This will provide the reader with quick background information (I know I would have used it). I love the example of the organization collaboration, but I would suggest just including the names/hyperlinks of a few other organizations Equality Florida has collabed with. The sentence that says,"in order to promote acceptance and change in the state" needs to be fleshed out. I found it to be a little vague. In citation #3, the date is not formatted the same as the others. Lastly, I believe that the very last sentence that was added needs a citation. Good job! -Haylee

1. I thought that the article, and the drafted section of the article, was really well done. I liked the addition about Nadine Smith and GLAAD. That is really important and should definitely be included.

2. I would suggest adding a little bit more about the history of the organization. I'd also like to be able to read a little more about what exactly the organization does, like outreach programs, meetings, marches, etc.

3. I think the most important thing would be to explain what the organization does and how they reach out to the LGBT+ community and to political figures to promote their views and campaign for equal rights.

4. I didn't see anything that could be applied to my article other than adding as many sources as I can find. Overall, I really liked your first draft!

Cassandradefalco (talk) 00:17, 6 November 2018 (UTC)