User talk:Tmanyrath/sandbox

I think your edits are pretty good, but I would give a couple suggestions to improve it or make it sound better. 1)I think you can rephrase this sentence better. It was hard to read it at first. => "In the way this concept applies, the "true" American is considered to be the White American, and all other Americans are something else, first and foremost, then they are Americans." Also, what do you mean when you say other Americans are something else? 2) I think Autumn 2003 research is a little outdated, but if there is no other research related to it, then it should be fine. 3) I think you can merge the two paragraphs where you talk about how Asian women are portrayed in Western cinema into one paragraph. One paragraph is the first one, and the other is the last third. 4) As you talked about Black-White centered film, you should try to give some examples of movies that portray that idea. Also, I suggest you should also give examples of some movies where it is Asian Centered movie. 5) All the citations look good to me and unbiased. The article is also neutral according to me. Chintanpatel2634 (talk) 02:54, 7 November 2019 (UTC)

Hi Tmanyrath, In addition to the above suggestions, I have one more suggestion. In your "Effects" paragraph, mention how does it effects Asian girl's personality after they being portrayed in a certain way? Such as some psychological effects and emotional effects. Any additional stress rate? Statics on depression or suicide rates etc. This is what I think readers might be interested in reading it. Overall, you did a very good job. Shahzia Perveen (talk) 22:09, 8 November 2019 (UTC)

Final wiki contribution comments: Overall good content added. There were some issues with clarity and casualness throughout that I edited directly in your page. Some of it was too casual and opinionated. It was sometimes hard for me to tell if it was your opinion, or if you had trouble conveying the opinion/point of the source in a more measured way (e.g., some have argued that...) Nonetheless you had good content and I could tell it was well researched. Nlegate (talk) 20:20, 10 December 2019 (UTC)