User talk:Tmschach/sandbox

Civil Service Reform Act peer review:
This paper is well-formatted and in-depth. However, there were a few problems that I witnessed when reading this page, such as: Writing as if this was a research paper, using research "straight from the textbook", and finally simple grammatical errors. While you all did not have any trouble bulking up this paper, and provided a lot of the needed information there is a missing tone in the overall writing. This Wikipedia page is not a research paper. This is an encyclopedia page, and what that entails is paraphrased information that gives a sense of knowledge and a chronological timeline of what occurred. Also, there was a problem in how you all entered your research into the paper, with the bland copy-and-paste style that you have at the moment it will not make an A. Grammatically as well, this paper needs to be re-read and looked through a tad bit more thoroughly. To solve the problem of entering in your research, all you must do is paraphrase almost all the information you have entered in quotations and enter a footnote at the end. Finally when you all write just be sure to make it a narrative of this historical event, and loosen up the way you write it to make it flow well and easy to follow chronologically/literary.Billirish01 (talk) 21:50, 25 April 2015 (UTC)