User talk:Tobiascharis

Welcome!
Hello, Tobiascharis, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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Peer Review on Patricia McKissack Wikipedia page
Good job repairing the tense agreement that was making the current article hard to read -- it was clear that part of the article was written while McKissack was still alive, owing to the use of the present tense, and now that McKissack is deceased, it's appropriate to change everything to the past tense. You might reread through again -- there's a sentence at the end of the Personal section -- presumably about the work published posthumously -- that still needs to be changed to the past tense, or reworked.

Some notes:

You might want to try to find or reuse citations for the paragraph in Personal Background about the McKissacks' sons -- particularly the sentence about the twins being inspiration for "Who Is Who?" That paragraph is unchanged from the current version, but you might want to edit it to sound less like it was taken from some unknown source or else find that source. I'd omit the bit about the McKissacks enjoying gardening and visits from their grandson, for example, and stick to the relevant facts.

I like that you've created separate biographical sections for Personal and Career. It reads much better this way.

In the Career section, again I might rework some of the sentences from the current version that sound like they were written by someone else but aren't properly cited. For example, the sentence "She spent considerable time writing 20 non-fiction books before she wrote her first picture book," stands out and the ensuing bits about the editor muddy the waters. This all could be simplified to "She wrote 20 (or many) non-fiction books before Flossie & The Fox, a fictional picture book (about…), was published in 1986 by Dial Press."

Is there a citation to support the indication that "The Dark Thirty" was written from childhood memories?

The last sentence in the Career section talks about "the most famous" book by the McKissacks -- can you rework this to be more neutral? Maybe just say "including" instead here.

I'm not sure it's required, but on my article I added links to the lists of awards and honors, where available, just so they can be externally verified. Most of them -- like the Coretta Scott King Award -- are pretty easy to find.

All in all, great job on your article, Charis! I think it's much improved from the current version.

-Sarah--SBryan29 (talk) 02:28, 17 November 2019 (UTC)