User talk:Tommyj0127/GIS and aquatic science

Hello,

I have completed my peer review of your contribution draft. Thank you for your time!

FreyaPortales97 (talk) 22:34, 28 March 2021 (UTC)Freya Portales

Review of "GIS for Aquatic Management" sub-article
Hello, I am a marine scientist on the U.S. east coast studying water clarity in estuaries. I am about to finish graduate school with my PhD in Marine Science. Soon I will begin a postdoctoral job researching phytoplankton using remote sensing of the ocean waters near Antarctica.

In general, the student contribution “GIS for Aquatic Management” is a helpful and informative addition to the main article “GIS and aquatic science.” Great job! For example, there is a sentence in the main article that reads “Agencies like the US Geological Survey…are utilizing GIS to aid in their conservation efforts.” This sentence almost perfectly ties in the sub-article that the student has written. Perhaps the word “conservation” could be included in the student’s sub-article to better integrate it into the main article?

Writing comments: This article could be improved by 1) increasing the number of in-text citations, 2) providing more specific examples, and 3) slightly clearer, more direct writing.

1)	More sources could be cited within the text rather than in the long list of “links to citation papers” at the end. If there are a few links in this list that never get cited in the text, they can be removed from the list.

2)	More specific examples would be helpful. One place an example would be useful is after the sentence in the 2nd paragraph: “From graphs, scientists can also identify areas that may have contaminants or toxins in the watershed that may be harmful.” Which contaminants? Is there a place in the world where GIS has been used to help with this problem? This could be a good place to cite another study, too. Another place an example would be useful is after the sentence in the third paragraph: “With maps, scientists can make recommendations once an area is identified as being of concern.” Is there a place in the world where a watershed’s nutrient pollution was mapped with GIS to help reduce nutrient inputs from the watershed? Perhaps the Chesapeake Bay watershed might be a good example.

3)	Some of the writing could be made clearer and more straightforward, in line with the style of Wikipedia. A short, general topic sentence at the start of each paragraph explaining what is in that paragraph would be helpful. Many uses of “scientists are doing this” could be amended to say simply “scientists do this.” For example, in the last paragraph, the phrase “scientists are analyzing data and advising” could be put more simply: “scientists analyze data and advise.” There are many places where a switch like this would make the writing clearer. Additionally, several words could be changed or clarified for a broader audience, such as: “impoundments,” “recession,” and “loss satellite imagery”…could be explained differently or defined in the text.

Specific science-related comments:

A)	Throughout, perhaps instead of “models,” “modeled maps,” or “map models,” the word “maps” could be used instead. Technically all maps could be considered models, because all maps are simplified representations of nature that help us better understand reality. GIS is understood to be a mapping tool by the general science community rather than a “modeling” tool – for models, we think of complicated numerical models run on powerful computers. GIS is more about just the maps for many environmental scientists.

B)	In the 1st paragraph, with regard to the phrase “scientists are creating maps to manage impoundments,” since this article is about aquatic science, perhaps what is meant is managing the waters upstream and downstream of dams, such as reservoirs and dammed rivers?

C)	In the 2nd paragraph, instead of “flow dynamics of water” perhaps what is meant is land slope, likeliness of flooding, or probability of flooding? Just after that, the word “these” is confusing – perhaps what is meant is areas at risk of flooding?

In general, great work! Thank you for the contribution and best of luck with the rest of the semester.

Jturner20 (talk) 11:41, 10 April 2021 (UTC)Jturner20