User talk:Tooba99/Abortion in Uganda

(Fernaz Mohamadi's) Peer Review
Hi!

Overall, I liked the article but I noticed a few things.

For one, there was some weird phrasing and word placement throughout. The first sentence is an example; maybe cut it up into two sentences because it reads like a run on. The first sentence of the 'Legal status of abortion' is also worded in an odd way. Consider switching these and other sentences up or cutting them.

Also noticed that some of the last sentences of paragraphs are without citations, such as the last sentence of the 'Common Law applications to Ugandan abortion law' section.

Also this sentence was very weird: "The total fertility rate from 1995 to 2000 was 7.1, and the age specific fertility rate per 1,000 women aged 15 to 19 from 1995 to 2000 was 180.[21] As of 2018, Uganda's total fertility rate stands at 5.5 children born per 1,000 women". I looked at the source and its actually 5.5 children per women. 5.5 children per 1000 women seemed wrong. Maybe double-check the sources and make sure your figures are correct.

I also think it would be helpful to have some photos in the article.

Other than that, the article looked very good! I didn't feel your language have any bias or anything. You have a clear structure throughout and the order of topics seems logical. I think the lead does a good job of explaining the issue at hand. The sources look good, with a lot of them coming from reputable sources.

FernazMohamadi (talk) 21:58, 3 April 2020 (UTC)

Kate's Peer Review
Hey Tooba!

Great job -- I can tell you are passionate and knowledgeable about the subject. Just a couple things.

1. The second sentence needs to be updated; it has (Sandboxt) embedded within the sentence.

2. The second paragraph first sentence is vague. What legal and socioeconomic barriers are women facing?

3. "... women have the right to seek an abortion, including rape, sexual violence, or incest, or when the woman has pre-existing conditions such as HIV or cervical cancer" remove one of the "or" in the sentence.

4. "However, many healthcare providers remain unaware of the expansiveness of cases when abortion is allowed, resulting in legal abortion access still being difficult" biased sentence

5.The header of "Laws on abortion" should be changed to something like "Laws on unlawful abortion" to distinguish from legal abortions as listed via National Policy Guidelines and Service Standards ...

6.If you are going to write out section 141, you need to write out section 142, section 143, section 217, section 205.

7. The Post-abortion care paragraph feels like an essay. The transitions make it feel like you are reading a paper and not a distinct Wiki paragraph. The phrases like "however", "Additionally" etc. are more for a paper.

Great job overall! Please let me know if any comments do not make sense/need further clarification.

(Katerichards14 (talk) 03:14, 7 April 2020 (UTC)) Kate