User talk:TriMinhHuynh/Media and American adolescent sexuality

Tri Huynh- Extra Peer Review

Draft: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:TriMinhHuynh/Media_and_American_adolescent_sexuality Current Article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Media_and_American_adolescent_sexuality

Evaluate the drafted changes:

Under the epidemiology paragraph, the last sentence might need a little bit of editing. I understand that you are trying to explain that reversing the association of aggressive sexual activity through education is difficult, but this sentence was a little bit confusing. Maybe expand on what the “negative attitudes” that you refer to are a little bit more clearly.

Since you mentioned exposure to porn is an influence in attraction to sexual aggression, the adolescent exposure to pornography section was a good addition to the article. It gives a lot of insight on adolescent viewing of porn and also notes that exposure is not always intentional.

In the accessibility to pornography section, you might want to switch invert to inverse/inversely in the sentence about the relationship between information secrecy and privacy invasion behavior.

In the early sexual engagement section I especially liked that you included the correlation between exposure to sexual media and sexual engagement becaues this is an important piece of information. I’m curious to know if you have any numbers or statistics to go with this sentence/ section (I think that might supplement the article nicely).

Finally, in the addiction to porn section, you mentioned that this addiction has similar traits to drug addiction. This is very interesting and I think that it would be cool if you expanded on this section by mentioning which brain structures are involved in the addiction to porn and if they are similar to those involved in substance abuse. Of course, information on this might be difficult to find, but I don’t think it would hurt to look!

Overall, this is a good article to edit and you have really added a lot of great content. It was interesting to read about all the ways that pornography impacts impressionable adolescents. My biggest suggestion would be to go through and catch any grammatical error type of things. Good work!

Srehman07 (talk) 02:08, 2 December 2021 (UTC) Saffa Rehman PSYC 345