User talk:Unendin

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Doug Weller talk 08:29, 9 July 2020 (UTC)

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Trump book image
Book images are not supposed to be high(er) quality per rules on Fair Use. The image should be no larger than is required to display it in the infobox, as was the case with the previous image. -- Green  C  20:18, 10 August 2021 (UTC)


 * oops. newbie mistake. i've replaced with 324 × 480 thumbnail and attempted to tag change as such. Unendin (talk) 20:43, 10 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Much better. Thank you. -- Green  C  01:20, 11 August 2021 (UTC)

Writing
Hi, I am enjoying your writing, you are a good writer. I think some of it is going to run into trouble as it exceeds what Wikipedia allows for in terms of neutrality and not injecting editorial opinion (which is an unfortunate reality of Wikipedia). Would suggest to tone a few things down before the wrong people show up and give the article a hard time.

These two stood out: Is "tawdier reality" could actually run afoul of our rules on WP:BLP. "Peering behind the curtain" is also not NPOV language. "our protagonist savvily" is definitely an editorial slant leading the reader in a direction without a cited source. A more neutral reading would be "In chapter seven, "Trump Tower," Trump assembles.." even though it's clunky repetition. See also The problem with elegant variation when these kinds of problems arise when trying to avoid repetitions. Maybe simply drop the chapter name?
 * Still, those peering behind the curtain could not make out the tawdrier reality all at once.
 * In chapter seven, "Trump Tower," our protagonist savvily assembles..

Nice work, -- Green  C  03:52, 13 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Thx for the constructive wisdom. Yes, per your comments, I can re-style some of it immediately, and more of it going forward. "Tawdrier" already felt too harsh! The elegant variation thing will take some noodling because I want readers to avoid confusion between the character/hero/protagonist in the book (due in no small part to Schwartz) and the flesh-and-blood person we think we all know by now. I '' ll try! Unendin (talk) 04:02, 13 August 2021 (UTC)

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