User talk:Vanessacushing/sandbox

What are your initial plans for your article? Arrotramel (talk) 13:00, 14 September 2016 (UTC)

Peer Review
Vanessa, I really liked how you sectioned off the different topics -- it made the article easy to read-- and I liked how you included her Legacy, which helps give readers a tidy conclusion to the important parts of Morrisson's efforts. Additionally, I was impressed with the nice, even and varied distribution of many cited sources throughout the article. The Career section is a little bit dense, so maybe you could find a break and create two paragraphs instead of just one? Just a couple things stood out to me that could be improved: there were some inconsistencies with hyperlinking of "Connecticut College" and "Hull House," "Republican National Convention" could be hyperlinked. Not sure if "National League of Women's Voters" can be linked or not--but it would be affirming to have.

Also, when you mention Chicago, be sure to clarify you mean "Chicago, Illinois" as not everyone immediately knows where Chicago is located. There are a couple sentences which could be simplified into two. For example: "Morrisson was one of the nations earlier anti-war advocates, she was the member of the National Committee on the Cause and Cure of war.[4]" could be edited to --> "Morrison was one of the nation's earlier anti-war advocates. She was a member of the National Committee on the Cause and Cure of War." Maybe see which longer sentences could be simplified and shortened.

That being said, you have an excellent neutral point of view when writing! I think your article is solid and impressive, especially for being about a never-before-written topic. Mary Foulke Morrisson seems like a very cool woman. Dlstahl (talk) 05:32, 6 October 2016 (UTC)