User talk:Victoriaearle/Archives/1

Minor Barnstar

 * Thanks Ewen!!

Copyedit request
Hi. I saw your name over at the GOCE. Could you take a look at Fritz the Cat and see if it needs any work done? Thanks. (Ibaranoff24 (talk) 15:29, 21 June 2009 (UTC))
 * Sure, I'll have a look at it, and then respond on your talk page. Truthkeeper88 (talk) 17:11, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Hi, sorry for the sloppy writing. I took out "best known", which was intended to mean that Fritz the Cat is well-known. Reading it as "best known" probably implied for some readers that most of the comix somehow disappeared from existence. Sorry for that confusion! I also clipped the sentence about the original incarnation of the character from the lead. (Ibaranoff24 (talk) 20:36, 21 June 2009 (UTC))

Copyedit request
Hi User:Truthkeeper88,

I wanted to know if you could help me copyedit The Naked Brothers Band (TV series) article.

Thanx!

ATC. Talk 19:17, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

No problem. Thanx! ATC. Talk 21:59, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

I currently cannot edit the article, because I'm getting a bad connection, but the sentence where you switched in the "...Documentary cameras follow the band-members as they deal with adolescence encounterments..." to "...adolescence experiences" is already used in news articles and I don't want to copyright the same text, so could you change it back to encounterments. Also, when you said the first episode&mdash;I mean if you are referring to the first episode and not the pilot episode&mdash;I don't think its necessary, because the entire first season they were the same age. Thanx! ATC. Talk 15:35, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Okay thanx! But, encounterments is a real word; I don't have a problem with you rewording it though, although "experiences" I wouldn't recommend. Thank you for taking the time to looking it over. ATC. Talk 15:54, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Oh... I looked it up, I was thinking of "encounter" NOT "encounterment". http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/encounter. I think I thought the add on was grammatically correct, I was wrong. ATC. Talk 21:32, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Copyedit suggestion response
Thanx!
 * 1) I would go with past tense verbs, if thats better.
 * 2) Instead of using e.g. "2nd", "3rd"... I'd rather use "second", "third"...
 * 3) What should be the alternative way to state e.g. "pull pranks"?
 * 4) I agree, that's probably the biggest problem with the article, the sentences in the "Main cast" and "Recurring stars" are not grammatically correct.
 * 5) Well in the "Filming" section its not all quotes and its not copied word-to-word, so if you think it needs to be written you could do that.
 * 6) If its over wikilinked, that'll be a good idea to look at. I want to add more citations, because some sections are not even sourced or referenced.
 * 7) I am slowly working on making the references have "citenews" and "citeweb".

ATC. Talk 12:25, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Expulsion
I asked a few members of the history wikiproject for comments on the reasons for the expulsion, but no reply yet. Also started to generate a small list of reasons with references. Feel free to add to it if I missed something. bamse (talk) 23:44, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I'll have a look at these and see what I can find. Thanks. Truthkeeper88 (talk) 00:01, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I've found this book that seems to explain the situation fairly well. I took a screenshot, but don't quite know how to upload, or the destination for the upload. Anyway, page 203 explains the reasons for expulsion quite concisely, so I'd think that is a good source. Will keep looking. In the meantime, I'll start a list in my sandbox (which is a very messy sandbox because I'm experimenting with images, but I have a section devoted to the Expulsion.) Truthkeeper88 (talk) 00:53, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * If I understand correctly, the reason for expulsion according to Richard Gott was Enlightenment. I think that is the official view of the catholic church as well. bamse (talk) 09:14, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Well, I think the Enlightenment (and of course the earlier Protestant Reformation) were the main causality. But there are some specific events leading to the expulsion (some of which you already have in the article.) I've created a working outline (that can be collapsed into a few sentences) at the top of my sandbox. Truthkeeper88 (talk) 17:10, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I had a look at your sandbox (good job). I agree that Enlightenment ideas are probably the basis for the later conflicts. To answer 6., none of the villages was in the Chiquitos. The missions that were transferred from Spanish to Portuguese control were the Misiones Orientales. I am not sure what you mean by 2. ("War between Spain and Portugal"). How would a war between Spain and Portugal be a reason for the expulsion of the Jesuits? There was a war between Guarani tribes + Jesuits against Portugal + Spain in 1756 (Guarani War). That would be number 5 in your list I guess. I will have a look if I can find sources for 8, though that would be more interesting for the Portuguese missions. Do you think, that "material wealth" and the fact that the Jesuits virtually owned large amounts of land in South America played a role for the expulsion? bamse (talk) 10:45, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
 * The 1758 conspiracy is known as Távora affair. bamse (talk) 10:52, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the clarification -- one of sentences in Gott reference confused me. I've renumbered the outline. To answer your question: I do think the Jesuit expansion in the New World (both South and North America) as well as other places, signified a threat to Portugal, Spain, and to a lesser extent France. If verified with a reference, then your "Expulsion" section can begin with a short sentence to the effect that the Jesuits were threatened due to economic reasons (or some such), then an explanation of the Treaty of 1751, and so on. If it can be wikilinked then not too much explanation is needed to maintain focus on specific topic in the article. Tomorrow I'll start work on some possible opening sentences in my sandbox. Truthkeeper88 (talk) 22:25, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
 * In number 8 on your sandbox, "Spain"->"Madrid"? Pages 28-30 in describe the situation around the Tavora affair and just before it. The first sentence on page 28 (Given the background...) also hints at economic reasons for the conflicts with the Jesuits. The text of the treaty of Madrid is found here. Unfortunately I don't read Portuguese.  Please let me know if you need more references. I don't have access to any non-open scientific journals though. bamse (talk) 14:52, 23 June 2009 (UTC)


 * I think there are enough references. I've started to work on a rough draft that can be streamed into the existing text here. For now references are in parentheses. This will need a few days to get the chronology right without getting too wordy. Feel free to copy the rough draft out of my sandbox. I'll let it ferment in my brain for another day, and return to it tomorrow. Truthkeeper88 (talk) 18:13, 23 June 2009 (UTC)


 * Great job! I copied it to User:Bamse/sandbox and fixed the chronology at the beginning. The Guarani war of 1756 was a result of the Treaty of Madrid not the other way around. Other than that, I only added wikilinks and some extra info (name of tribes and location of transferred missions to distinguish them from the Chiquitos missions). bamse (talk) 19:53, 23 June 2009 (UTC)


 * Nice! In sentence #3 the word "order" (referring to Jesuits) should either be Jesuits or the Society of Jesus. I'll look at the text and figure out where to stream in the newly written material, but I think the first few sentences simply can be replaced. Truthkeeper88 (talk) 14:00, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * On my sandbox I changed "order" to "Society of Jesus" and added citation templates for Gott and Maxwell. Also fixed some of the wikilinks and changed "spring" to "February 27". I still have doubts about two dates (marked by '???' in the text). The riots happened already in spring 1766, so probably the accusitions also happened in 1766. This book has a good summary of the events in Spain starting on page 118. It also says that the Jesuits were expelled from France in 1764 (not 1762). bamse (talk) 14:58, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Riots were in 1766 (according to Gott and Ganson.) (Sorry, the sentence in my sandbox was a mess: I'd flipped it around three or four times and somehow didn't save the final version.) The French expulsion is interesting: two year difference according to which source you use. Typically the most recent source is considered the more accurate, which would be Ganson I think (copyright 2006). It's getting there! Truthkeeper88 (talk) 16:07, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I changed the riot date to 1766, the French expulsion to 1764 and added as reference Ganson. Also changed Chiquitos->Chiquitania in the last sentence, since the expulsion order was not aimed at the Indians (=Chiquitos) but at the Jesuits living in the Chiquitanía region. Shall we replace everything from "During the political battle ..." until "... which was under Portuguese rule." ? bamse (talk) 16:28, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Yes, exactly. Keep "At the time of the expulsion..." but replace the two sentences above. Once it's all streamed together the new section will need a new paragraph structure, (to avoid an excessively long para) but that's easy to fix. Truthkeeper88 (talk) 16:37, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Done. Hope I did not mess up the references. bamse (talk) 17:03, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Perfect! The references seem to be fine. I think I've done all the copy-editing necessary for this article. Truthkeeper88 (talk) 17:09, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Great! Thanks a lot. I nominated the article at Good article candidates. bamse (talk) 18:49, 25 June 2009 (UTC)