User talk:Violathompson/sandbox

Article Draft Feedback
Ready to go! Chronophoto (talk) 19:58, 25 February 2018 (UTC) (course instructor)
 * This draft looks excellent. Make sure you paste it a little at a time into the existing page.
 * Also, fix the formatting of references 4 and 5.
 * The first reference to the films should include their release year in parentheses.
 * Also review usage of the term “handicapped.” I recommend this style guide.

Class Peer Review: This is a very well written Wikipedia page, with a clear understanding of the life of its subject. You've gotten a lot of great information and you have written very objectively, merely stating dates and facts when they appear rather than writing subjectively on the subject. I am unsure whether this is available but any information on her recent life or work would help make the page feel slightly fresher. Leeds.bois.114 (talk) 20:58, 26 February 2018 (UTC)

Peer review You seem to have nailed the Wikipedia tone, and your writing style flows nicely. The only thing that stuck out to me was the use of the outdated word "handicapped" - perhaps you can say her brother has a physical disability. Note that person-first terminology like "person with a disability" is preferred over terms like "disabled" or "handicapped." Otherwise, thanks for creating an interesting article, I enjoyed it! Tightbowtie (talk) 01:57, 27 February 2018 (UTC)

Article Review Feedback
Your article reads very well. It also balances the style and tone well. Overall, it manages to give a fuller profile on the subject of the article.

However I made a few changes: 1. Under Early Life: -Changed 'decent' to descent'. -Change (subject and inspiration) 'of' to ...for..' -Corrected Simon Frasier to Simon Fraser.

2. Under Career: -Edited the sentence 'Much of Wilson's early work' are to; Much of Wilson's early work consists of..'

3. Under American Cousin: -Last sentence, corrected 'premier' to premiere.

4. Under American Boyfriends: This sentence was not very clear. So I made a suggested correction to ...there was pressure on Wilson... -I also corrected 'relocated' to relocate.

Goodluck. --Esamikhafe (talk) 08:57, 28 February 2018 (UTC)