User talk:Viovino21

Welcome!
Hello, Viovino21, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:44, 5 February 2020 (UTC)

A kitten for you!
I would change “Returning home he was a lot different looking, he was a lot thinner and quieter man.” to “Returning home he was a lot different looking, he became a thinner and quieter man.” To avoid using “a lot” twice in one sentence. I also noticed that you switch between past and present tense in “One of the agreements upon release was that Ai was not able to leave China for a year. Which really hurts him and how he does a lot of business across the country.” I would make sure to change this to just past tense to make it easier to read and coincide with the rest of the article. Also, instead of having the period after “year” in the previous sentence, I would change that to a comma to avoid having an incomplete sentence.

Laurenk17 (talk) 01:23, 10 March 2020 (UTC) 