User talk:Voicedisordersmegan/sandbox

Peer edit from reidh
Hi voicedisordersmegan!

I really loved the introduction section you've written - I found it very concise and informative. I found the behavioural assessment section was difficult to read with so many subheadings; is there another way to lay this out to be more easy to read? I also think that in the patient profile section, it is useful to repeat the definition of puberphonia in relation to the profile/symptoms. Are there other profile factors that are relevant? Comorbidities? I really like the tone you are using in the writing - I find it very appropriate for wikipedia. I wonder if you can add some hyperlinks for some of the behavioural section, including "modal voice register" or "maximum phonation time" or "falsetto register" so that the reader can seek more information.

Great work so far!

Reidh084 (talk) 18:05, 28 October 2017 (UTC)

Thanks!
Hi Heather!

Thanks for your review of my section. I agree about the subheadings. I couldn't think of a better way to do it at the time, but you have me thinking more about it now so hopefully I can come up with something good. I believe that in Sarah J's section about causes, the information that you felt was missing from the patient profile section is covered in fairly great detail, so I will discuss it with her over the week to see what exactly she is including and potentially reiterate it in my section. I can say that there are no comorbidities that have come up in any of the articles or books that I have read, but that I do not know that there are NO disorders that commonly co-occur with it, so I don't feel comfortable including that information. Finally, I will definitely throw in some hyperlinks - thanks for the advice there! Voicedisordersmegan (talk) 20:49, 28 October 2017 (UTC)

Sujin's peer review
Hi Megan, I really like you addition to the article!

You provided well sourced, balanced and clear information while staying neutral. I also like that you used various types of sources for your article such as journal articles and textbooks :)

Here are some suggestions for your article:

- Adding more sources in the introduction section. While I agree with the content in the first and third paragraph of the intro section, you could use some sources to add credibility.

- Providing more detailed explanation for some terms used in the article for readers who are not familiar with voice (e.g., functional voice disorder). Like Heather suggested, adding hyperlinks would be also helpful.

Again, I think you did a great job with your article. Awesome work! Sujinlim86 (talk) 01:02, 29 October 2017 (UTC)

Thanks!
Hi Sujin!

Thanks for your feedback! I am going to go through and add some more hyperlinks throughout the article. I think that you are right to point out that defining terms like functional voice disorder in the introduction and expecting people to remember that definition later on might be overly optimistic. I will add some more citations as well! Voicedisordersmegan (talk) 17:46, 29 October 2017 (UTC)

Peer Review by Jdavid06
Hi Voicedisordersmegan! I really enjoyed reading your draft. You presented the information clearly in a logical order, and you use a neutral writing style. There are a few places where you could have explained the technical terms a bit more (as Sujin suggested, you could define “functional voice disorder”) or include more hyperlinks for unfamiliar terms. Overall though it is well-written and easy to read. There are a few statements missing citations, for example you could add references for the information at the beginning of your Patient Profile section. I also agree with Heather that the Behavioural Evaluation section could be organized differently – you have great information here but it might be easier to read in another format. Great work so far! Jdavid06 (talk) 01:22, 29 October 2017 (UTC)

Thanks!
Hi Jess! Thanks for reviewing my contribution to the article. I agree with all of your suggestions, and will be adding some more citations and hyperlinks soon. Good catch that I seem to have forgotten to cite the most important statement at the beginning of the Patient Profile section - it is definitely important to know where that information is from! I also plan to modify the formatting of the behavioural eval section per your review and Heather's. Thanks again for helping me make my section as good as it can be! Voicedisordersmegan (talk) 17:49, 29 October 2017 (UTC)

Feedback from Nicole
Hi Megan

Job well done. Exceed my expectation! You did a good job of providing expected signs of puberphonia when describing the assessment. You are also responsive to peer's comments. Good job

Nicole — Preceding unsigned comment added by SCSD639 (talk • contribs) 22:58, 29 November 2017 (UTC)