User talk:Vwdesmondi/Sandbox:LGBT refugees in the united states

Dr. Haenn, Please review this. Shalor's changes were tagged. MaoMao wanted more information on Asian gay men. Thanks!

Hi Vanessa, I made lots of comments here that somehow disappeared in an "editing conflict". My main point was that the writing needs to be cleaned up. I think you might be doing that right now, as I see a new sentence has appeared! Please practice simple sentences.

During my re-write process, I had to find another source to help substantiate my historical context. While the draft is being added to another article which contains some historical context, history specific to the LGBT community needed to be addressed separately.For my revisions, I went through and added the information that was asked for as far as specifying information on the ban, contextualizing some of the history and expanding on the implications of the experience with Asian homosexual refugee seekers. I also cleaned up some of the writing. I focused on shorter, less complicated sentences. I tried to make the transition between my section and the information that was already there easier. I didn't disregard any recommendations in these revisions, as I could see all suggestions helping the section stand on its own for the casual reader. Vwdesmondi (talk) 17:19, 16 November 2017 (UTC)