User talk:Wadha Al Musallam/sandbox

Mariam's Peer Review
Lead

This is a very well constructed lead! The lead is clear and at the same time does not give away much information about the article which makes the reader interested to know more about the topic. However, I believe that the lead lists some of the important aspects of the article such as Doha Film Institute, but not all of them. The article discusses other aspects which contributed in the production and the recognition of Qatari films such as the 'film festivals,' 'Qatar production houses' and the 'Qatar Film Institute' which I feel is important to be included in the lead to provide a good grasp of what the article is about.

A Clear Structure

The structure is well organized and I also like how the article is ordered in a way which makes it easy for the reader the understand. There is are clear section and under every section there is a detailed description of what the section is about. However, since the lead focused on how the Doha Film Institute played a major role in Qatar cinema, it would be sensible to start of introducing what is the Doha Film Institute and how it is important to Qatar's cinema. Also the lead then discussed the first full-length feature film in Qatar, which after the section of the Doha Film Institute, the article could bring out the films which were produced or shot in Qatar,

Balanced Coverage

I believe that each section is fairly presented depending on its importance in the article. However, I believe as you talked under the section of the 'Qatari Directors and Filmmakers' about the contributions of Ahamed Al-Baker, you might also would like to consider providing the contributions and the work of other filmmakers to balance section and so it would not seem that you are focusing more on Ahamed Al-Baker and not the other filmmakers and to avoid any bias. Moreover, I believe the article provides reflects all the perspectives equally through talking about every aspect of Qatar cinema with no focus on one particular point of view.

Neutral Content

I believe the article provides a neutral content through not only focusing on the films produced by a Qatari filmmakers, but also films which were shot in Qatar and are produced by foreign filmmakers such as Black Gold. However, there are some phrases which do not feel neutral for example under the 'Cinema Operators' section, it mentions how the Vox cinema is "one of the region's most prominent entertainment and successful businesses" which I believe could provide a bias feeling towards the Vox cinema than the other cinemas mentioned. This could be either removed or substituted with other neutral phrases that will avoid any form of bias.

Reliable Sources

The article is built on good sources as most of the sources come from the Doha Film Institute website and the official websites of the cinemas in Qatar. As well as the article provides links to Wikipedia pages whenever popular names or works are mentioned. Since Most of the citations are coming from the Doha Film Institute than the other sources, this might make the article leaning into a single point of view. In terms of the citation, everything is well cited to a reliable source, however under the Doha Film Institute there are a couple of sentences which are not cited and these are; "The Doha Film Institute provides educational programs, workshops, and information sessions to nurture the growth of prospective filmmakers". "DFI also invests in film production by partnering with film projects and co-financing them".

Overall a great well-constructed article! Well Done! MaryamAl-Suwaidi (talk) 08:30, 22 March 2019 (UTC)

Amna's Peer Review
You start of simple and short, which is a great startup. However, the readers need to be more introduced to what Cinema in Qatar really is, instead of just mentioning that its slowly emerging with the support Doha Film Institute. Your ideas are clear and concise, however, your structure needs to be moved around a little bit. Since, you have mentioned Doha Film Institute in the beginning of your article, it would be best to have the Doha Film Institute tab in the second top section, instead of having it farther down. You show great amount of balance in the importance of information. For example, you clearly explain about the Qatar Film Fund, Film Festivals, and Qatari production houses. However, in the section explaining Qatari directors and filmmakers, you should elaborate on each director and filmmaker and not just on Ahmed Al-Baker. Each figure is as important as Ahmed, so be sure to include some of their strengths and achievements of what they have done in Cinema. Your information given considered to be neutral content because the aim of this article is to let people know that Qatar cinema is slowly developing and you show that by incorporating different content about cinema in a way that you are not fully persuading the audience to accept this idea. Your use of sources are very good as they mostly come from Doha Film Institute, but be sure to use journal articles and books for a stronger article. For example, your source from "Variety" could be found in Jstor by searching relatable issues of that section. Overall, you show great enthusiasm towards this topic and give great detail in most sections, keep up the good work! Amna-alh (talk) 11:17, 22 March 2019 (UTC)

Noora AlKhalifa's Peer Review
The article was well written and provided some important pieces of information about the topic. The first thing I noticed about the article was the title, Cinema of Qatar which I found interesting. The lead into the article was a bit short and did not seem to provide the overview I was expecting of the article. After reading the entire article, I felt that more could have been summarized in the introduction. The sections of the article could have been introduced or alluded to in the lead-in to give the reader more of an idea of what was to follow. There were many interesting and relevant sections to the article but I felt the organization could have been arranged differently. The more general and larger events and topics could have been discussed first, such as the film festivals, funds, and institutes. Followed by the more specific examples such as the different films shot in Qatar and foreign films. Some sections are discussed more fully than others which could be because there is more information available or more to be said about them. The article provided important information for someone interested in learning more about cinema of Qatar. Each section discussed different aspects related to cinema in Qatar. While some sections were longer than others, the different articles made the article comprehensive and well rounded. The topic was presented in a very neutral manner. I did not feel that the author was biased or trying to represent any groups interest. One suggestion that I have is that the author includes more dates. For example, there is not mention of when the films Clockwise, Cruel Summer and the Worker’s Cup were released. Further, the author relied heavily on the source Doha Film Festival as a main source. All in all, I felt it was a very good start to an article that will be important in informing others on an emerging and growing field. Nooraalkhalifa (talk) 20:42, 23 March 2019 (UTC)

Menna's peer review
-The lead is concise, but can use more expansion. DFI is important, but does Qatar only have independent cinema? Etc. you can also talk more about how Qatar as a nation supports cinema?

Structure makes sense, however, “Black Gold” can go under “Notable Qatari films”- doesn’t need to be alone - For the sake of consistency, the “production houses” section can go under DFI, because DFI, TFH and innovation films are all production houses -Content is balanced and has neutral content, however, I would add 1 or 2 more notable Qatari Films, possibly ones that had success internationally. Topic is

-Sources are reliable, seeing as you used official websites and sources linked directly to your topic — Preceding unsigned comment added by Mennaazzam (talk • contribs) 08:04, 24 March 2019 (UTC)

Sarah AlMarri peer review
Lead Section: It is well constructed and short. However, for someone who does not acknowledge the cinema in Qatar you need to add more information for them to understand and acknowledge. You need to add an overview of what the whole article about and you should include DFI as well as it is an important institution.

Structure: It is well structured and ordered spliced into headlines.

Coverage: it was balanced in terms of the headlines and the content. It talks about the current cinema in Qatar and its expansion and approaches.

Content: The content was neutral. But you should reconsider the Cinema Operators section as some of the sentences seems bias, such as, “one of the region's most prominent entertainment and successful businesses”. You should replace it with a more neutral content to provide such biases.

Sources: There were several good sources to structure the article, mostly Doha Film Institute. — Preceding unsigned comment added by SarahAlMarri (talk • contribs) 06:27, 25 March 2019 (UTC)

Prof. PK's Comments
I want to echo your peers: this is a great start! As several of them pointed out, the lead needs to be expanded a bit to give your reader a more thorough overview of Qatari cinema, and the DFI section should probably appear much earlier. Also, as Menna mentioned, Black Gold does not need its own section. I assume your next step is to offer biographical info on the rest of the filmmakers?

Other improvements: You need to make some major stylistic changes. Film titles should be italicized, not bolded. Indeed, no proper names should be bolded--Doha Film Institute should be linked to its Wiki page, and filmmakers' names should either be normal text or linked to their pages. Then there's the issue of citations: you should not be citing other Wikipedia pages (those can be linked in-text). I'd also like to see a greater variety of sources than just DFI, IMDB, etc. Look for news articles and reviews to supplement these. Pkrayenbuhl (talk) 13:29, 30 March 2019 (UTC)