User talk:Walkerka/sandbox

Nice evaluation of the two pages. Great to note the contrast between the highly speculative nature of some of our class conversations (questioning and hypothesis building) with the content on Wikipedia, which should only include conclusive information.Jmmcabee (talk) 17:24, 17 April 2017 (UTC)jmmcabee

Comments on Ideas Draft
Nice work going ahead and adding your sentences (with references) directly to the articles. It is not clear how you would be adding a paragraph or section to each page. Are there more general gaps that you identified that you could work on? Jmmcabee (talk) 19:31, 26 April 2017 (UTC)jmmcabee

Comments on Article Revision
Looks like you are about set. I noticed one typo- threshold is one word. I think you make a convincing case for the actions of roots being swarm behavior, though you may want to address why we shouldn't just consider them parts of one coordinated individual. If you can get hold of that other book that Josh has, I think it would be very useful. I'll remind him to bring it tomorrow. Jmmcabee (talk) 21:17, 10 May 2017 (UTC)jmmcabee

Peer Review
Hello! Overall, this is a great paragraph with good facts and sources. The one thing I was a bit confused with was this part, "Plants growing in close proximity maximize the availability of surrounding nutrients by reducing competition between its neighbors. This involves growing in a direction that optimizes the distance between nearby roots, and the action of this behavior takes two forms: maximization of distance from, and repulsion by, neighboring root apexes." This part feels a little redundant to me, or it could be re-worded in a less complex manner. I also think you have an extra "of" in the last sentence. Great job! Kamel24 (talk) 01:04, 19 May 2017 (UTC)

Hi, Your citations appear relevant and are working well. I believe that certain phrasings are a bit too wordy, and can detract from the line of evidence you are introducing. For example, "display a strong tendency towards swarm behavior, growing in patterns that exceed the threshold of random probability", has a confusing wording in terms of the usage of "strong tendency". May I suggest better wording such as characteristics, or "traits similar to swarm behavior". Furthermore I believe the phrase "exceed the threshold of random probability" should be rephrased as it makes a simple point more confusing. Furthermore, "the action of this behavior takes two forms: maximization of distance from, and repulsion by, neighboring root apexes", can be much better worded to be simpler. There are few grammatical errors, but one edit lies in adding and to your 5th to 6th line sentence about the transition zone. It would also be beneficial to include a link on the word "stolon", or define it yourself. There are some more grammar errors in your last sentence and it might be better to explain what independent root swarms means as well. Overall your information appears well connected and you did a good job of extrapolating on your sources. Joshahn419 (talk) 02:14, 22 May 2017 (UTC)