User talk:White vs. black

White vs. Black: Episode 1

(Fades into title text)

(Camera zooms down to face Cookie who is standing on base with O’Donnell)

Cookie: Hey O’Donnell. O’ Donnell: Yeah? Cookie: Have you ever wondered what its like to be dead??? O’Donnell: No, but if you want me to help you answer that, (raises gun and points it at Cookie) I’d be glad to help… Cookie: No, seriously, I mean we’re born and then a few years later we die. O’Donnell: A few years ...yeah, more like 70 Cookie: No! You know what I mean, uh, hmm, oh, ok, like the stars for example. They live for millions of years, and we live for a measly 60. O’Donnell: Well I do see what you mean but- Cookie: Ok, take you for example. What’re you here for? You never fight, and your armor makes you look like a giant banana. O’Donnell: You know what? Cookie: What? O’Donnell: Shut up.

(Cut to white base) (Camera slowly pans down to Lizard, who is doing a “corpse hump” minus the corpse)

Fox: What the hell are you doing? Lizard: Tae Bo, why? (Lizard begins to melee) Fox: Why are you doing Tae Bo? Lizard: Because it helps keep me in shape. Fox: Why do you need to… Wait, is this about that prank we played on you?? Lizard: (stops) Which one? Fox: The one where we told you to run around the base 10,000 times or our commander would call you unfit? Lizard: Oh, yeah, that one. (begins jumping) Fox: Why would you even do that, as apposed to being called a name? I mean, are you like retarded or something? (Lizard stops) Lizard Look I wanted to make a good first impression okay? Fox: I want you to know that first impressions don’t mean crap. When are you going to get that through your thick skull? Lizard; Hey, I don’t know who shoved a tampon up your ass, but all I know is this military stuff ain’t child’s play. Fox: Whatever.. and by the way they’re sending reinforcements who should arrive in a week or so. So be ready. It’s gonna be Me, You, Ramsey, and a whole bunch of dead black guys.

(black base)

Cookie: Why do you want me to shut up? O’Donnell: Because you’re acting like a total jackass. Cookie: It’s not my fault you’re mad because Wolf made you clean the toilet O’Donnell: The only reason I did that is because there was diarrhea from your mouth in it. Cookie: Oh yeah, well you look like a giant banana O’Donnell You are so immature… Cookie: Well at least I’m not a banana, you moron O’Donnell: You know what? I’m sick of your complaining about everything! I don’t care about death, I don’t care about your opinions, and I don’t care about your mother! God damn! That woman’s all you talk about. Cookie: Hey man don’t knock her off until you meet her. O'Donnell: Cookie!! Shut the fuck up!!!! (O'Donnell leaves in a fit of rage) Cookie: Wonder whats wrong with him???

White vs. Black Episode 2: Blacks New Recruits

(Title Screen) (Camera pans down to show Fox looking through a sniper rifle)

Fox: This really sucks. Ramsey: Why’s that? Fox: They got recruits and a new vehicle. Ramsey: How many recruits? Fox: Three. One is green, one is pink, and the last one is purple. Ramsey: They have a girl? Fox: Yeah, looks like it.

(Black base)

Cookie: Who’s the chick? Wolf: I think that’s a guy. Cookie: Then why is he wearing pink? Wolf: (shrugging shoulders) I don’t know. (Wolf approaches the rookies) Wolf: We don’t want any girl scout cookies from you ladies, we already told command that. Soldier in Pink: Dude, I'm not a girl. Soldier in Green: Sure you are, Pinky. Pink Armor: It’s lightish-red!!! Green Armor: Pink! Wolf: So ladies, what are your names? Pink Armor: Lieutenant Franklin Delano Donut the 2nd. My codename is Maine sir Green Armor: Lieutenant Trevor J. Graves, my codename is Ohio Purple Armor: Private James B. Hill. Uh… I have no codename, sir. Wolf: Let me introduce myself. My name is Dennis T. Wolf. My rank is Captain, that means I own you, understand? Hill: (raising hand) ooh, ooh pick me, pick me. Wolf: Yes, Private? Hill: Are there any girls up here, sir? Ohio: Yeah, there’s one right here. (pointing to Maine) Maine: Hey! Wolf: No, I’m afraid not. She left on Mardi Gras. (showing short scene of Wolf and O’Donnell laughing, while looking down into the base) O’Donnell: Ah, good times. Wolf: Anyone else? Maine: Yeah, on your T.V. do you get the home shopping network? Wolf: No. All we have is Playboy0 Maine: Aw man! That sucks!!

(White base)

Fox: Looks like the girl is complaining already. Ramsey: You’re kidding. Fox: No, you know women, they complain about everything. My wife takes off her clothes and wants to have sex, but I just want to go to sleep. And she gets mad. Ramsey: Yeah, my mom was like that… Fox: Dude, that’s sick! Ramsey: No! Not that, she complains a lot. Fox: Sure she does… Ramsey: Man, that’s gross. Stop. Fox: Heh…

White vs. Black Episode 3: Better late than never (Title screen)

(Black base, fading in on Ohio looking through a sniper rifle) Ohio: Finally! Hey Cookie! Cookie: Yeah? Ohio: You know how we’ve been here for 2 months right? Cookie: Yep. Ohio: Well, White team just got their recruits. Cookie: You’re kidding. Ohio: Nope, take a look. (Cookie raises his rifle) Cookie: Hmm, It looks like they’re having some problems with their tank. Ohio: Wait a minute! They have a tank?! Cookie: Yup. Ohio: Well that’s not good… Not good at all. (Cut to white base) Ramsey: Whoa… Is that tank ours? Fox: I think so, but why did they send it? We called for reinforcements not a freakin’ tank!! (3 soldiers emerge, one from in the tank and 2 from behind) Fox: Looks like we got 2 mercenaries and 1 recruit. Ramsey: Well, whattaya waitin’ for? Introduce yourself! Fox: Uh… Ahem! My name is Sergeant Robert J. Fox. Now what are your names ladies? Merc 1: Lieutenant William T. Weiner. My issued codename is Connecticut, sir. Merc 2: Lieutenant Brad Parmer. My codename is Kentucky. Recruit: Private Mark George. The tanks name is Tiny. Ramsey: Tiny? That thing’s big enough to be Lizards mom! Lizard: Shut up, moron. (Black base) Cookie: How many soldiers did they get? Ohio: 3 Cookie: Are you sure? Ohio: What do you mean “am I sure?” of course I'm sure! Cookie: No, I meant that guy coming out of that trench over there. The one that’s walking toward us with that big gun. Ohio: Aw, shit…

White vs. Black Episode 4: Ohio gets pwned

Cookie: He’s shaped weird. He doesn’t look human. Ohio: He’s not, he’s a covenant! Son of a- (Rocket explodes behind them) Cookie: We’re under attack!!! Ohio: What are you standing there for? Return fire! (Starts shooting) (Creature falls) (Stops firing) (One more shot is heard) Ohio: (turning around) Stop wasting ammo! We need it for- (Gets shot in the face, landing on Cookie who is unconscious) Soldier in Black: Ah Ohio. I knew I would find you getting into another mess you couldn’t get out of. I knew I should have finished you off at Battle Creek (Dude, yeah a flashback, I know shut up) (Shows Ohio and the soldier fighting on opposite sides of Battle Creek. Yeah the soldiers from Battle Creek in RvB) Ohio: We were drones of war. We were in no shape for rebellion at that time. You remember the mind control devices? Black Armor: I do, but that is where you ruined and saved my life. You shot off my device. In return I shot yours off so you could be free. Yet you still fired at me. You shot my right arm with a .50 caliber rifle. It costed me thousands of dollars for a robotic one. With that one action, I sought revenge. (Cookie starts moving) (Soldier in black aims gun at cookie) Black armor: You’ll regret the day you messed with Washington. Ohio: Washington, don’t hurt him. He has nothing to do with this. Washington: Aw, I think ol’ Ohio got soft after all these years. Ohio: (raising sniper rifle) Like I said he has nothing to do with this. Washington: Fine, I’ll give him 10 seconds before I kill him…10 Ohio: Cookie! Get the hell out of here! Cookie: (mumbling) Yes…sir… (Cookie runs off) Washington: Now, back to the matter at hand. I’m going to give you a shorter 5 seconds. Now go. Ohio: You bastard! Wahington: 5… Ohio: How can you do this? Washington: 4… Ohio: I have a family! Washington: 3, and I suggest you run. Ohio: (Starts running) You wont get away with this! Wasington: 2,1 (Washington throws a plasma grenade, sticking it to Ohio) Ohio: You son of a bitch! If I’m going to hell, im taking you with me! Washington: What? (Ohio fires 3 shot, one killing Washington. Seconds later the grenade explodes) (White base) (Kentucky and George are looking up at the sky) Kentucky: Hey private.(Looks down) George: What?(looks down) Kentucky: Did you hear that? Gearge: Hear what? Kentucky: It sounded like an explosion. George: No, I didn’t hear anything. Kentucky: Really? George: No. Kentucky: Oh…Well me neither. George: What? Kentucky: Nevermind…