User talk:WikiUser481/Glow & Lovely

Health concerns section
I'm going to do a sentence by sentence commentary in here:

Skin lightening which is done for cosmetic reasons is associated with negative impacts on well-being and adverse effects on the skin.

Seems good.

Despite current regulations, lightening agents continue to dominate the cosmetic industry.

The article doesn't talk about regulations anywhere else: add something? There might be enough to easily add a short new section.

The term “fairness” is used to imply beauty and virtue, dominating the product landscape, most notably with Fair and Lovely, which is the market brand leader and household name, along with U.S. brands such as Revlon and Neutrogena

I think this is connected back to the criticism section rather than health? Might belong there instead? Needs a little bit of context -- market brand leader and household name in what place? Also missing punctuation.

Cutaneous and systemic side effects from SL agents are likely underestimated, as the complete list of ingredients are disclosed.

Spell out skin lightening instead of saying SL I think. Undisclosed not disclosed? Also, is this true of Fair and Lovely specifically?

Super-potent corticosteroid agents may result in a number of cutaneous effects, including local immunosuppression leading to bacterial, viral, and fungal skin infections.

Is this true of Fair and Lovely specifically? Can simpler language be used?

However, concerning side effects from systemic absorption include a disrupted hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, including Cushing syndrome, adrenal insufficiency, diabetes, and hypertension.

Is this true of Fair and Lovely specifically?

Kaylea Champion (talk) 20:53, 3 February 2023 (UTC)