User talk:Will590/Fanaticism/Mcontris Peer Review

Will590, The first three paragraphs that are giving details, definitions, and examples of fanaticism could all be together rather than separate. The article overall is pretty short and much more detail about fanaticism could be added like what causes it, addictions associated with it (behavioral addiction maybe?), etc. Looking at your sandbox and what you plan to contribute, I would remove “it seems” from the first sentence and add “research suggests”, or take out it seems and just leave it as “ fanaticism is a result…”. Sentence 3 and 4 both start with “in this case”. I would remove that from one of them, so your contribution doesn’t sound repetitive. In sentence 5 you start with “it is easy to see why..” this entire sentence might come off as somewhat bias. I would rephrase or delete all together. Another thing that I would suggest is bring over parts or the entire original article so I can see where you plan to add your contributions within the original article. Overall, great job! Mcontris (talk) 21:40, 26 February 2021 (UTC)