User talk:William McNamara

William McNamara kicked his way out of the womb on the eighteenth of november, 1989. The midwife, so taken aback by his jawdropping natural beauty promptly asked him on a date that very night. 'I told her it would be better if i spent some time with my mother first, seeing as how i'd just ruined the last 9 months of her life and all' William says, looking back on the event.

He spent the first few weeks, kicking back at the crib, chillin' with his 'homies' and catching up on his correspondence. He also used this time to write, direct, produce and star in his first feature film, 'Jew on the Run', which won several major awards at Cannes, but was banned for major child nudity. "I couldn't understand how when a woman gets her kit of its art, but when i do at the age of less than a month its child pornography, its bias, thats what it is" says William. I nod my head in agreement and study his face intently. He has a look of unprecedented wisdom and intellect about his features, razor sharp and eyes that crinkle in amicability, belaying the wirring criminal mastermind wirring just inches behind them. I ask about his first criminal offence, the infamous 'janey' incident. Janey was a female rights activist, albeit on a rather minor scale. When her and William were age 4 they attended the same primary school, she campaigned for girls to be allowed to wear trousers if they prefer it. "Im a suffragette", she would exclaim in the playground, "my big sister told me about it." As ledgend has it, on the fourth day this occurred, the young William snapped, yelling "i'll make you suffer-a-jet!!", ramming a toy plane down her throat and physically throwing her at the climbing frame, proceeding to yell at her while she layed crumpled on the floor. William is silent for a moment as i re-count this story to him, after a few minutes he says "im not going to lie, i believed i could beat the feminism out of her"

To Be Continued...