User talk:Winnerevu/sandbox

Peer Review - Pesansky
The first paragraph edits are very confusing, I am not sure what you are trying to say. Go back and edit it for common grammar mistakes and miswordings. Explain about how the use of the smartphone can be an addiction instead of just saying that it is. Where you talk about how certain cultures it is discouraging to take breaks- this leads me to wonder what cultures these are, maybe list them in the article.

Peer draft- Voell-White
"has lead to a more refreshed feeling long the people involved." Needs revision, doesn't make sense. "This excessive technology usage can be considered an addiction in some aspects." You can remove 'in some aspects', sounds wishy-washy. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Alicevoe (talk • contribs) 12:32, 1 November 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review - Austingrzechowiak
Structure of first edit needs revision. Idea behind it is valid but has grammatical errors and lacks some professionalism. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Austingrzechowiak (talk • contribs) 12:45, 1 November 2018 (UTC)