User talk:Wllm/The Wasted Times

In the News
Singer Barbara Streisand Files Suit Against Internet to Stop Spread of Phrase "Streisand Effect"

Wikipedia by the Numbers

 * The Talk-to-Walk Ratio: What is the ratio of all textual data in talk space, including deleted text and archives, vs. all textual data in article space, including deleted text, on enwiki?
 * The Phoning-It-In Ratio: What is the ratio of bot-intiated vs. human-initiated edits on enwiki?
 * The Tag-It-and-Bag-It Percentage: What percentage of articles on enwiki have been tagged for improvement over 1 year?
 * The Tag-It-and-Bag-It Probability: How likely is a Wikipedia reader to find a tag that is more than one year old on an enwiki article based on an average weighted by popularity?
 * The Six-Degrees-of-Kevin-Bacon Fraction: What is the fraction of all enwiki articles that can reach the Kevin Bacon article in 6 links or less?
 * The Kevin-Bacon-Desparation-to-Demand-within-6-Degrees Ratio: What is the ratio of the total number of pages that can be reached within 6 links from the Kevin Bacon article vs. the total number of articles that can reach the Kevin Bacon article within 6 steps on enwiki? Article cycles are weird and vaguely incestuous and should not be followed.

What About the Elves?
As I write this, there are over a million English articles on Wikipedia. There are over one thousand in lots of languages- Emigliàn–Rumagnòl, for example, that are almost certainly made up. But there are exactly 0 articles written in Elvish. How long must we wait before someone gathers the courage to ask "What about the Elves?"

Let us seize the opportunity to take affirmative action on the issue of Elf inequality in our society and welcome them in to our Wikipedia community. Of course, each and every one of us must address our own prejudices first. And if you don't believe Elves are victims of racially profiling in our society, I ask you when you last saw a CEO that happens to be an Elf? For that matter, have you ever seen an Elf elected to office in your government? Let's face it, we treat them like they don't even exist.

I appeal to the better natures of all Wikipedians to join me in taking a final stand on this issue. People will tell you "it's not important", "you're wasting my time", or "you're nuttier than squirrel droppings". Persistence will win the day, and Elvish civil rights are worth pursuing until they are seen as equals in the eyes of all men, women, orcs, and hobgoblins.

Alas, I cannot lead the cause at present. The clock strikes 2:30, so I must find my wizard's robe and ride my trusted hachback in to battle, or Gary will give everyone a lecture about being late again. But as I pick up my sword forged from foam of the highest grade given to me last Christmas by my nephew that I call- and am trying to get everyone else in my guild to call- "Deathwhisper", I think of the Elves who crafted the soft blade I now wield. I look forward to the day that each and every Elf will no longer be made to feel invisible as they walk our streets and toil alongside us. For now, to battle! Excelsior!!!

Our Cornflake Crisis
Fellow Wikipedians, I feel it is incumbent on me to bring a matter of grave concern to your attention. It seems that every morning more and more Wikipedians are falling victim to an epidemic of truly epic proportions. It is raging through our community like wildfire, leaving a bad taste in the mouths of Wikipedia editors wherever it strikes. I'm referring, of course, to all the pee in our Cornflakes.

Measures have already been taken to contain the urine with little effect. No sooner has one editor's breakfast been defiled, than that editor in turn tinkles on the cereal of 10 others. Quarantining editors who have been caught draining their tanks on the breakfasts of others has had mixed results, as the editors aiding in such efforts have thus far been unable to keep their own Cornflakes dry. Many editors seem to have made befouling the first meals other editors' days their number one priority.

(Add some examples of Cornflake-pee Fueled Comments)

Weird and Wonderful on Wikipedia

 * This section is reserved for articles on the strangest and most unbelievable subjects Wikipedia has covered.


 * Lincos
 * Folly
 * Spite house
 * Mill Ends Park
 * Raising of Chicago
 * Cardrona Bra Fence
 * Colletto Fava
 * Ferdinand Cheval
 * Icelandic Phallological Museum
 * Sedlec Ossuary
 * Great Stink
 * Manhattanhenge
 * Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
 * Poto and Cabengo
 * Voynich manuscript
 * Ishi
 * Buttered Cat Paradox
 * Head transplant
 * Raining animals
 * Trimethylaminuria
 * Phineas Gage
 * Donner Party
 * Accessory breast
 * Osteo-odonto-keratoprosthesis
 * Dancing plague
 * The Blue People of Kentucky/The Fugates
 * MKUltra
 * Tanganyika laughter epidemic
 * Exploding animals
 * Pasilalinic-sympathetic compass
 * Chicken eyeglasses
 * Chicken gun
 * List of cryptids
 * Brain freeze
 * You're aware that an insanely exhaustive list has already been compliled?80.43.176.157 (talk) 21:44, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
 * Nope. I was just hoping it had. :) I'll add what seems funniest from this list here. Right now I'm just trying to come up with the content for the first humor/curiosity newsletter. Thanks! -wʃʃʍ-  00:09, 8 October 2014 (UTC)