User talk:Wnesheiwat/sandbox

Everything looks good so far, just continue adding to each of the sections. I like that you added reasoning behind the name of the disease/disorder.Bmisch96 (talk) 19:35, 14 November 2017 (UTC)bmisch96

I have never heard of Harlequin syndrome before, but it was really interesting to learn about! I think you can include the eponym in your abstract since it asks for the breakdown of the word in that section. “Such individuals with this syndrome have an absence of sweat skin flushing unilaterally.” I know you’ll proofread before the final submission, but I was reading this part in the abstract and was a little confused about the sentence. Even though the mechanism for Harlequin syndrome is still unclear, I think you did a great job of explaining what it could possibly affect and where. I think you can move the classifications to the diagnosis part of your article. It lists in the rubric that there needs to be a description for each symptom. I feel like the symptoms you listed do explain themselves, but I don’t know if you think you need to describe them some more. Be consistent with the capitalization of the work Harlequin. You covered the main points of the rubric and did a great job!MarcellaP13 (talk) 13:26, 16 November 2017 (UTC)

--Sweiner02 (talk) 05:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Why did you remove the picture from the original page? If you go back and recopy the infobox source, you should be able to retrieve that.
 * I'm confused by "listed as a rare disease". Listed where? What does this add to the statement?
 * Abstract needs citations, but good citing throughout most of the paper.
 * Make sure to do all citations through wikipedia. The abstract has one that is not correctly cited.
 * There are a number of issues with grammar and clarity. I encourage you go have someone read through for those issues.
 * Make sure it's lay accessible. You use some words (like unilateral) without defining them. Consider if you could replace it or define.
 * You're not writing for a patient, you're writing an encyclopedia article. Don't tell me what people may notice, tell me the symptoms.
 * Don't add extra sentences to justify section titles (like "Therefore, prognosis is good for individuals with this syndrome.")
 * Looking through Google Scholar, I was able to find multiple studies that were not just case studies, within the past 10 years. Look a little harder.