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Nicole-Marie Margot Koszarek
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Nicole-Marie Margot Koszarek (November 2, 1755 - October 16, 1793), known to history as The Most Honourable Marchioness of Huntly, was born Adrianna-Diane-Melissa-Horatio-Elisabeth-Yvonne-Rhea-Margot Brianna Deorte of Winchester, changed her name to the far shorter ADMHEYRMBD of W when she was a mere tot, again changed it at the age of ten to Adrianna-Nicole-Diane-Marie-Yvonne-Margot Deorte, and then, when she married The Most Honourable Marquess of Huntly, Lord Douglass Gaston Koszarek, he imposed a change of name on her, as he had weak lungs (consumption, don'cha know) and simply could not say her entire name in one breath. Therefore, to save himself from looking like a pansy, he forcibly shortened her name (with a machete) down to his three favourites of her names. She died in October of 1793, a disgraced royal, downtrodden, ashamed.

Early Life

Adrianna-Diane-Melissa-Horatio-Elisabeth-Yvonne-Rhea-Margot Brianna Deorte of Winchester was born to the eighteen-century equivalent of modern-day hippies in the Sichuan Province of China in 1755. However, rather than having a fondness for cannabis, the Mr. and Mrs. Deorte preferred opium. Her name was derived from every name the two British immigrants could think of in the five minutes after her birth, and so, strictly speaking, it could have been far worse. Shortly after her birth, her parents emigrated again to Australasia, where she spent the remainder of her young life with the convicts and rabbits. At the tender age of ten, she was taken back to England, the land of her forefathers, and her name shortened to attempt to conform to society there. She attended an exclusive private boarding school in Wilhamptonshire, and was groomed to be the trophy wife of some rich noble. Groomed most literally -- I mean the eighteenth-century equivalent of plastic surgery. So, emerging from school a new woman, she set about using her womanly wiles to hook herself a noble.

The Hunt

Was actually incredibly short. She went after a baron first, but after the Marquess took interest, she quickly changed her course. The two were almost sickeningly adorable, talking of candy cane trees, and sugar rainbows, and studiously ignoring any talk of revolution in the colonies. They were married on April 19, 1767.

The Marchioness of Huntly

In the early years of their marriage, the young couple occupied their time being noble and raising England's finest herd of pwnies, even inventing the submachine gun to outfit their herd with. However, as the years went by, the marriage soured, with the Marquess becoming jealous of the pwnies' loyalty to the Marchioness. This caused him to, in a jealous rage, take a machete to her name. This, of course, and his consumption, but the consumption was hardly to the point where he could not manage to pronounce her full name. The Marchioness responded poorly to this attack on her personal property, and began to furtively poison her husband in small doses, to make it look as if he was slowly succumbing to the consumption. When at last he died in 1770, the Marchioness took full control of the people of Huntly. Embittered by her husband's actions against her, she decided to take her anger out on the people of Huntly, all the while pining for Australasia. The beautiful terror was known for stringing the townspeople up by their toes in the square, forcing them to scrub her own toes, and making them eat chicken toes. In fact, most of her punishments seemed to be centered around toes. Historians believe it was due to some sort of foot fetish that she attempted to cover up in her diary with a professed fear of feet. However, the clever townspeople were not to put up with this abuse of their toes. They quickly turned on the Marchioness, and ended up tickling her to death. She was sorely missed.