User talk:Xo Fried Lobster/sandbox/Article Draft

This is a good start for your article, but I think there are a few things that could be improved.


 * There is lots of good technical and factual information from a variety of reliable sources, but some of the information can probably be condensed to increase clarity and readability.


 * In the first paragraph you mention some other kinds of plaster, panels, and drywall which makes it a bit confusing. I think some of that information would be better suited in the "application" section.


 * You say in one place that acoustic plaster is aesthetically unfavorable, then in another section you say it is favorable. Is aesthetics really a factor of importance for this material?

Renlis (talk) 21:47, 27 November 2018 (UTC)

Instructor comments
This is an impressively well-researched addition to this article. However, except for the last sentence of the Application section, it doesn't seem to provide much historical perspective on when this material was first developed and how it has since evolved. As your peer reviewer has noted, the discussion of other acoustical materials and methods in the first paragraph is confusing; this should be placed further down in the article, with more clear comparisons between acoustic plaster and other materials, in order to maintain the focus of this article on acoustic plaster. Can you provide examples of notable buildings where this material was used? Elizabeth Linden Rahway (talk) 11:24, 5 December 2018 (UTC)