User talk:Yemlee/sandbox

Nicole draft feedback
Hi, Emily! You have some strong additions in this draft. Pieces that stand out to me in this current version are:
 * excellent sources--and range of sources!--in the reflist, and clear use of them in article
 * this expansion is still small, but getting a sense for the legend of her origin and purpose seems like a key addition

Some things to think about as you continue your work on this article:
 * how to organize this? is there enough information on different legends or maybe legends specific to her different names to create separate sections for them?
 * the tone here is neutral, but the additions are told as a story rather than an encyclopedia entry. Language like "According to the most common legend, after deeming humans as needing assistance..." would move you toward a tone more fitting for this kind of article
 * what other information is in this great list of sources? what else do you still plan to add?

I hope these notes are helpful, and I look forward to seeing the final version of this!Nicoleccc (talk) 05:49, 14 February 2019 (UTC)

Joshua Peer reivew
You are adding some great information. My favorite point that you are adding is Personal Info About Mama Ocllo. your content is Neutral. The sources you uses seem to be from books? It could just be me but some of the links I couldn't get to work. But "EL PRIMER NVEVA CORÓNICA" is a great source. The structure of your content is very clear and flows well. Once you expand on some of your main points your additions will be perfect. I would love to read more in the Variations in Legend section. Super strong additions good luck. --JoshLix (talk) 16:12, 17 February 2019 (UTC)