User talk:Yjtalk0825/sandbox

Reviewer Comments Karyan23 (talk) 21:47, 28 October 2016 (UTC)
1. Presente.org - I agree that there is a lot of room for improvement with this article because it is outdated and currently has minimal information on the actual page. It seems as if a lot of Presente's activism involves their members signing a petition, calling, writing, or emailing their Assembly Member in order to try to convince their Assembly Member to vote one way over another. While Presente uses its official website and their email list to directly contact their supporters, you can also discuss how Presente is using social media as part of their campaigns. Another thing that could improve the thoroughness of the article is the structure of Presente. Do they have a horizontal or vertical structure? If they have a vertical structure, then you can talk about their leadership and what they have done to push the organization's message forward. Lastly, I think you have the opportunity to write a ton of good information on their campaigns. You should go through all the campaigns under "Campaign Archive" and add them to the wikipedia page. However, it is very important that you find outside sources to go along with each campaign because using just Presente as the source for these campaigns presents a heavily biased stance. Overall, good ideas on how to improve the Presente.org Wikipedia page! Karyan23 (talk) 21:47, 28 October 2016 (UTC)

2. Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR) - After looking at the Federation for American Immigration Reform Wikipedia page as well as your thoughts on how to improve the page, one thing that I would like to hear more on is criticism. Someone already mentioned on the page how the Southern Poverty Law Center marked the Federation for American Immigration Reform as a hate group due to their belief that FAIR leadership met with "leaders of the Belgian Nationalist group Vlaams Belang which had been condemned by the Belgian Court of Cassation for violations of the law against racism". It would be interesting if you could follow up on the criticism that is already listed on the page as well as find more information on if there are any other groups that are criticizing FAIR for certain reasons. Also, do any of the claims that these groups have made have any substantial evidence to back up their criticism. Make sure to include important statistics when you introduce your sub-section "Counter-Arguments". Another thing that can be added to the page would be a leadership section. They have a "board of directors" on their official website so you can draw information from there as well as other sources. They also have information on their staff which includes their CEO, CFO, etc. Again, I like your progress and ideas for improvements to the FAIR page. Karyan23 (talk) 22:32, 28 October 2016 (UTC)

3. Center for Community Change - This is another good page to edit because it needs a lot more information before it becomes comprehensible. I liked your ideas on how to improve the page especially with the "Focus" section about their goals. Another thing that you can add to the page is how exactly the Center for Community Change "supports and strengthens partner groups and unites them in coalitions that can wield power". You can also talk about The Community Change Champion Awards which they present each year at their annual conference. Also, a lot of the references that are listed on the Center for Community Change wikipedia are outdated so it would be good to review those sources to see which sentences referenced those outdated sources and then find new sources to update those sentences if possible. There also should be a lot more information on the activities portion of the page. How are they bringing about change? What events are they organizing and participating in? Karyan23 (talk) 23:04, 28 October 2016 (UTC)

4. Fair Immigration Reform Movement - Good job with the start to your lead section. Continue trying to add more information to it as you go through the process of creating this page. Also, good job with the outline. I feel like you cover the most important sections that could be categorized under this movement. If you want to include even more sections under the Fair Immigration Reform Movement, then you can look at other grassroots' movements to see what sections they have and then see if they apply to this particular movement. Karyan23 (talk) 23:39, 28 October 2016 (UTC)

5. Inequality within immigrant families in the United States - I liked your idea about wanting to improve the page by discussing how young immigrants face a variety of obstacles on an every day basis. However, it may be hard to remain neutral when doing so because there will be a wide range of struggles that a portion of a young immigrant generation may encounter, but that may not accurately represent them in their entirety. So be careful with the first two bullet points under "What to Improve" on your sandbox.Karyan23 (talk) 08:03, 29 October 2016 (UTC)

Overall this student seems like he is on track to contribute 30 reliable sources to his wikipedia articles. Keep up the good work! Karyan23 (talk) 23:41, 28 October 2016 (UTC)

Peer Review Response: Presente.org
As you pointed out earlier, Presente’s activism is primarily generated by its members’ efforts in delivering a collective voice to the Congress through calling and writing petitions to politicians. Since its establishment, there has been a number of campaigns that successfully spread Presente’s activism, and helped amend several legislations in favor of immigrants in the U.S. I think that it is a great idea to make a separate section of “Campaign Archive” and briefly describe key components of those movements. In this way, the structure would be better structured. One major predicament in doing this is the lack of information. There are not many peer review articles that deal with Presente’s social movements. Thus, at the moment, the primary source of information is media coverage and Presente’s website. Before moving my edited article to Wikipedia page, I will try to find as many reliable sources as possible to avoid any unintentional bias. Speaking of power structure, I have never considered exploring whether Presente’s power structure is vertical or horizontal. I mistakenly thought that describing the leadership would be enough for this page. Your suggestion of portraying the power structure in-depth, and describing how the leadership structure influenced the way Presente pushes its message forward is crucial. I will definitely reflect this upon editing the article. Thank you for great ideas!Yjtalk0825 (talk) 18:33, 8 November 2016 (UTC)

Peer Review Response: Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR)
To begin with, I agree that I should extensively revise this outdated Wikipedia page. As you mentioned above, starting the page with the introduction of key figures in FAIR such as CEO and CFO would be great. I will definitely add this section into the article. At the moment, I am planning to add important information regarding FAIR’s latest activities and social movements, and to restructure the page for the sake of clarity. I would describe FAIR’s relationship with the leaders of the Belgian National group, Vlaams Belang to a certain extent as you pointed out. However, it is also necessary to more broadly cover other kinds of criticisms that FAIR is receiving such its leaders’ slip of the tongue rather than excessively scrutinizing one issue. To be frank, I think that I can make one independent Wikipedia page regarding FAIR’s association with Vlaams Belang. I wish that I could dive into this particular topic more in-depth. Unfortunately, however, for the sake of time and succinctness of the page, I guess I have to compromise a bit. I appreciate your suggestion, and would come up with a page that amply deals with criticisms toward FAIR, and its responses to these blames. Additionally, I found interesting scholarly articles that study the relationship between the advent of hate groups and Nativism. Thus, I am going to enrich the sub-section “Counter arguments” with several views that are developed from cross-sectional researches from sociologists and historians. I will also cite several statistical evidences that FAIR is implementing in order to support its philosophies and social movements. Once again, thanks for your advice!Yjtalk0825 (talk) 19:00, 8 November 2016 (UTC)

Peer Review Response: Center for Community Change
Although Center for Community Change has been involved with numerous social movements and community & service activities such as the Community Change Champion Awards, it has not received enough attention on Wikipedia. Consequently, its Wikipedia page currently remains outdated and insufficient. As you noted above, I will concentrate on developing “Focus” section by covering fundamental missions and goals of the Center for Community Change. I also realized that many sources of information on this page were somewhat outdated. Thus, I am trying to gather up-to-date information about the organization and its movements from a wide array of sources including scholarly articles, media coverage and its own homepage. At the moment, I am trying to gather as much information as possible from UC Berkeley Library where the majority of people in the world do not have access to. By doing this, I believe that I can deliver more neutral and reliable information to Wikipedia readers. Although the excessive reliance on media coverage and blogs is not desirable in constructing Wikipedia pages, due to the relative shortage of information regarding this organization, I find a need to refer to these kinds of sources as well. Additionally, on its homepage covers a variety of events and social movements that the Center for Community Change is organizing and participating in at the moment. I will include the information on these activities as well on the Wikipedia page.Yjtalk0825 (talk) 19:30, 8 November 2016 (UTC)

Peer Review Response: Fair Immigration Reform Movement
I was quite unsure when I was writing the lead section for this page. It is a great relief to hear from you that I am on the right track. Right now, I am planning to construct the Wikipedia page for the Fair Immigration Reform Movement based on the outline in my Sandbox. As you pointed out above, I believe that in the course of creating this page, I will make additional changes to my lead section. Considering the fact that this social movement is categorized as one of many grassroots movements, I also think that it is a great idea to look at other grassroots movements pages, and see if there are any appropriate sections to add for the Fair Immigration Reform Movement. Furthermore, one problem with creating this page is that there are not many reliable sources that directly describe this particular movement. In this regard, referring to other grassroots movements pages will also help me expand the basis for sources used. Thank you for valuable suggestions! Yjtalk0825 (talk) 19:43, 8 November 2016 (UTC)

Peer Review Response: Inequality within immigrant families in the United States
I also acknowledge that there are some possibilities whereby I become biased in conveying various obstacles that the young immigrants encounter in their daily life. In my opinion, however, I can still maintain the neutral tone throughout the article if I make a wise use of reliable sources and wording when summarizing the information. There are a number of studies that actually study various struggles which the young immigrants of different ethnic and racial backgrounds encounter. For instance, in his study of Latino/a immigrants, Nicholls Walter objectively identifies the struggles that this group of young immigrants encounter in their daily life. Right now, I am also searching for scholarly articles that study hardships which other immigrant groups such as Asian-Americans face in the U.S. I totally understand what you are anxious of. I think that your point is valid and crucial. After all, the fundamental purpose of Wikipedia is to spread knowledge without any bias. I will do my best to keep the tone of the article neutral and improve the quality of the article. Thank you!Yjtalk0825 (talk) 20:02, 8 November 2016 (UTC)