User talk:Ymarq013/sandbox

Claudio's Peer Review: I love that you have your evaluation for this article at top. It helps keep your thoughts and ideas for improvement together and easily accessible. You are on track to a great Wikipedia article. I noticed how the sources for this article were minimal and I saw that you added 4 more which is very helpful. I couldn't help but noticing that you cited the same source twice in the referenced and wanted to warn you before you went ahead and put it in the article. The sources you are adding are all peer reviewed and excellent ones. You are extremely organized and the wring sounds unbiased. I will attempt to adopt this style of writing since mine sounds a little less Wikipedia ready. I think that adding a "Victims" section is brilliant and is an essential part to the article which takes into account the business ethics behind it. Try to add more to this section in order to provide balanced coverage. I suggest that if you find a good picture pertaining to this section to do so to emphasize the importance of the victims. Finally, in the "business structure" section, i couldn't help but notice some grammar issues. You should give it a quick proofread and add spaces between words like "demandfor" and "Commisiondescribed". Great job!Claudiopinero (talk) 00:56, 4 April 2019 (UTC)

Prof R Feedback
really nice section addition...adds much needed detail to article...clean up the grammar--(e.g., "it" not "they" when referring to office of victim...)  Micalva (talk) 19:09, 16 April 2019 (UTC)