User talk:ZWise1911/Kyle Giersdorf

First, what does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that described the subject in a clear way?

The article does a good job informing me all of the necessary information about who Kyle Giersdorf is and what he is known for. I thought the explanation of what he is known for went above and beyond the basic things that I needed to know. It allowed me to understand more about fortnite and why a professional player like Giersdorf should be deemed as a notable person considering how popular fortnite has become.

What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?

I would suggest editing the grammar in the second sentence of the personal life section as it seems like a random fact thrown in there without much flow, additionally it should say "Kyle likes playing basketball..." rather than "Kyle likes play basketball..." I think editing this sentence would create a gramatically correct sentence and maybe adding something at the start like "when he is not playing fortnite he likes..." because then it would connect to more of the main idea of his life.

What’s the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?

In the career section, I was confused on what you meant when you wrote about his earnings from both lan and online tournaments, so maybe adding an attached wiki link to what lan tournament format means or simply describing it in your own words.

Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article?

I like the Personal Life section that you included. I think it adds more about the person and I would consider adding it to my article as I only focused on education and awards rather than information outside of career. Brookehespen (talk) 19:13, 11 April 2021 (UTC)Brooke Hespenheide