User talk:Zachcorliss/Jarena Lee

Hi Zach,

I thought you did a great job on the article! You provided a lot of valuable information about Jarena Lee, and I felt as though it was organized very well. You also chose academic sources as well. Some changes I would suggest is to complete another proof read or two. There were a few grammatical errors throughout the article, but these are a quick fix. Another suggestion is that the article had some analytical aspects at times. For example, when you discussed the threefold impact that Jarena had, this comes off as analytical and not neutrally listing off facts. Also, at times the piece seemed slightly conversational. You said, "But how?" This phrase is full of voice, yet I am not sure if it is appropriate for a Wikipedia article. Overall, I though you did a really great job and suggest just switching around a couple of phrases and double checking grammar.

Morganjones1 (talk) 01:22, 19 November 2020 (UTC)Morganjones1