User talk:Zahussen/sandbox

Peer Review: Censorship in the Philippines
Overall, I really like your article! A couple of small notes:

You use the word however a lot, and you have a lot of clunky language in the first paragraph that makes it seem a lot like we are seeing an argument play out. Instead of feeling impartial it feels more like reading the argument between two groups. This can be easily cleaned up with grammar changes.

Proof read for grammar a bit more. for example, in the first sentence take out the word has and add the word the. I am also confused why you said "as of now" in the third paragraph." I know this is the early stages of your article but this is just something to think about. You should also talk more about what the impacts of this incident are.

You only have a few sources so far but they all seem pretty reputable from the BBC and the Guardian. Add in more citations.

Rseplow (talk) 08:52, 19 November 2018 (UTC)rseplow