Wikipedia:April Fools/April Fools' Day 2009/Requests for adminship/Juliancolton Alternative

Nomination
[ Voice your opinion] (talk page) (1/1/Pedros:3); Scheduled to end 01:18, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

– i'm a wikipedia user. i have only been blocked 7 times. i also have over a thousand edits. oh and btw, i am not a 'sock puppet'.


 * Candidate, please indicate acceptance of the nomination here:

Questions for the candidate
Dear candidate, thank you for offering to serve Wikipedia as an administrator. It is recommended that you answer these optional questions to provide guidance for participants:
 * 1. What administrative work do you intend to take part in?
 * A: blocking people


 * 2. What are your best contributions to Wikipedia, and why?
 * A: my userpage is nice


 * 3. Have you been in any conflicts over editing in the past or have other users caused you stress? How have you dealt with it and how will you deal with it in the future?
 * A: i told somebody to "*beep* off" yesterday, but i was hoping nobody would notice

Optional question from Res2216firestar

 * 4. As it was submitted on April 1 (UTC), and per the silly changes happening below, do you believe that this might not be takes seriously?
 * A: who are you and what the hell are you doing on my RfA?
 * I think that answers my question...-- Res2216firestar : Chat  01:44, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Who the hell are you and what are you doing on mah wikipediaz? Jake Wartenberg :  Chat  01:55, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Compulsary question from Drilnoth

 * 4. Do you believe that signing your posts is important, or something that seems to imply WP:OWNership of statements?
 * A. yes

"You have to answer this!!!"-question from SoWhy

 * 5. What kind of, you know, "benefits" will we get if we vote for you? Will you finally block that Jumbo guy?
 * A. you will all get free ice cream

Silly question from TenPoundHammer and his otters

 * 27 1/2. Do you realize that otters can't count? Also, if this passes, would you convert all articles to Pig Latin and lock them?
 * A. no, I would convert them to Otter Latin.

General comments

 * Links for Juliancolton Alternative:
 * Edit summary usage for Juliancolton Alternative can be found here.

''Please keep discussion constructive and civil. If you are unfamiliar with the nominee, please thoroughly review Special:Contributions/Juliancolton Alternative before commenting. If you are overfamiliar with the nominee you may also wish to comment on this AFD, or that MFD''

Hit with hammer

 * 1) Support. I was going to oppose per the seven blocks and the false claim of having over 1000 edits (in actuality it's only 841), but having rollback obviously overrides both. Useight (talk) 01:28, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Per WP:NOW Camw :  Chat  01:28, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Support Blehhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Lets  drink  Tea  01:32, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Alternative Support. Gave me Alternative rollback, now it's quid pro quo time. Floquenbeam Alternative :  Chat  01:33, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Go away for six months, bring that block count up to 15 or so, then I will be happy to support.  We need someone to block Jimbo.--Wehwalt (talk) 01:37, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Oppose. This user's efforts to bushwhack bubble wrap the encyclopedia on the down low  up and up QT must be nipped from the bottle nipped in the bud, as per episode 133 of NCIS.  — Athaenara  ✉  04:00, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Strong Support - Seven is just the right number of times to have been blocked. Enough to understand the plight of the common man, but not so much that you're a Super-Villain.  Nutiketaiel (talk) 14:11, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Clutch head, shout "Whaaah" - Sketchmoose : Chat  13:57, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Hit with TenPoundHammer

 * 1) Endorse hitting But user should be hit with hammer for every block and then attacked by TenPoundHammer's otters.-- Giants27 T/  C  01:24, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Otters are tasty. Jake Wartenberg : Chat  01:25, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Hit, then delete per below. –Drilnoth (T • C) 01:30, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Endorse hitting
 * 2) Endorse hitting
 * 3) Endorse hitting
 * 4) Endorse hitting
 * 5) Endorse hitting
 * 6) Endorse hitting
 * 7) There's a vote from each of my otters. Ten Pound Hammer  and his otters • (Broken clamshells • Otter chirps • HELP) 16:23, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Pedro rules!

 * 1) iMatthew :  Chat  01:22, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Jake Wartenberg :  Chat  01:24, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Also, candidate n00b only has 824 edits. NuclearWarfare : Chat  01:25, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) No Pedro sig nor 'zilla in your name. the_ed17 : Chat  01:29, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) "Nuff said" The Pink Phink : Text me!  01:31, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) I'm confused... This is why I dislike April Fools Day. :P Anyways, this is Juliancolton, BTW.  Math Cool  10  Sign here! 01:45, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * No... really? It is? And I think that you were supposed to sign MC10 : Chat  01:29, 1 April 2009 (UTC). :p –Drilnoth (T • C) 01:47, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Do you have any reliable sources to back up this claim? – Juliancolton  | Talk 01:47, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Juliancolton makes a good point... the redirect on User:Juliancolton Alternative's excellent user page was added by the alternative, so it could fall under WP:HOAX. –Drilnoth (T • C) 01:49, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Icewedge :  Chat  03:38, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Raiku Lucifer Samiyaza :  Chat  05:01, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Delete this section per lack of verifiable information from reliable sources Pedro : Chat  10:11, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Delete

 * Unproductive user, take to WP:EFD. –Drilnoth (T • C) 01:26, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Keep. WP:NOTPAPER. Cool3 (talk) 01:47, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * And delete Cool3 while we're at it. –Drilnoth (T • C) 01:48, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Keep Cool3 per WP:ILIKEIT and delete Drilnoth per WP:GHITS only 572 google hits, which is less than 612 per WP:NOTBIGENOUGH. Cool3 (talk) 02:23, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Merge into WP:BEANS. darkweasel94 (talk) 14:30, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Lock in a closet with llama(s)

 * Strong support -  Ceran  thor 01:28, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Oppose Think of the llamas! --Enric Naval (talk) 14:43, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Support so long as the llamas get proper psychological counseling afterward. --Alinnisawest,Dalek Empress ( extermination requests here ) 02:02, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

Lock in a closet with User:Ceranthor
*Strong support Jake Wartenberg :  Chat  01:49, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Duplicate !vote struck. -- Res2216firestar : Chat  01:56, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Vote stricking struke. –Drilnoth (T • C) 01:57, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Comment striking struck.-- Res2216firestar : Chat  23:43, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Lock in a closet with User:Ceranthor and a pack of angry llamas

 * Support Only logical choice. –Drilnoth (T • C) 01:56, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Support And keep him in there until he admits to being a sock of one of the llamas. I don't care how long it takes. -- Noroton : Chat  03:18, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Support, especially if the llamas are Grawp sox.-- Fabrictramp : Chat  14:24, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Lock in a closet with R. Kelly

 * Über Support What on earth is everyone else thinking!? ~  ωαdεstεr 16  «talkstalk» 02:50, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Please Hammer Don't Hurt'Em
because he's Too Legit To Quit and I don't know how to make fancy sigs StarM  02:54, 1 April 2009 (UTC)


 * the above user has been banned for not remembering how to wiki links, which implied that the candidate was merely Legit to Quit and not Too Legit to Quit . Fixed. Syrthiss (talk) 15:20, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * I wouldn't hurt 'em. I like Julian. Ten Pound Hammer  and his otters • (Broken clamshells • Otter chirps • HELP) 15:28, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * both of the above now infinity banned for fixing only one of my busted links...Must I do all my dirty work? StarM  00:22, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

Why would anyone make that guy an admin?

 *  Why oh  Why?  07:37, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
 * i luv u :D Sparkling pink heart.gif Glass  Cobra  17:43, 1 April 2009 (UTC)