Wikipedia:April Fools/Jeremiah Alden

Jeremiah Alden was a Plymouth Colony settler. His obesity can be directly linked to current trends in obesity. He was unrelated to John Alden.

Life
Alden boarded the Mayflower in England, consuming a portion equal to a mans rations for the whole voyage, prior to the ship leaving. When the rest of the settlers disembarked, Alden stayed on board, eating salt pork. When he finally disembarked, he ate most of the colony's grains and dried rations, leading to the deaths of many of the settlers during the first winter. Alden continued this habit, often devouring food while the rest of the settlers were away. Eventually he married, siring 9 children, who were also given to his ways. Although the settlers were often angered by his gluttony, they did not act to stop him, in keeping with his genial disposition.

He died of a heart attack at age 46 shortly after being accused of witchcraft.