Wikipedia:Do not insult the Presbyterians

Okay, you might not like us, but then again, what do we do to you?

Why do I hate you?
There are many reasons why you might not like us.


 * 1) Maybe you don't like Protestants. You're probably Catholic.
 * 2) Maybe Scotsmen offend you. Perhaps tossing the caber isn't your thing.
 * 3) Perhaps you don't like meetings. We don't either.  But we wouldn't get anything done if we didn't.  But we don't anyways...
 * 4) Perhaps you would rather be a Methodist. There's no debt if you are, just trespassing!
 * 5) You may become ill thinking about achieving nothing for long periods of time. Don't worry, that'll pass.

What should I do?
If any anxiety should derive from thinking about the following,:


 * Shagging a Sheep
 * Tossing the Caber
 * Kilts
 * Hearing someone say Allo, Guvna!
 * Full plaid

Please consult a doctor.

How do I respond to a Presbyterian?
Presbyterians may at times be stubborn. Be patient. Say something to cheer them up, like, "Progress!", or, "Remember John 3:16!".