Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Alan Rawlinson/archive1

Alan Rawlinson

 * Nominator(s): Ian Rose (talk) 19:42, 7 January 2023 (UTC)

Al Rawlinson was a Royal Australian Air Force fighter ace in World War II who transferred to the Royal Air Force at the end of hostilities. As well as combat and leadership skills, he seemed to possess the sense of humour not atypical of his breed, as evidenced by his choice of aircraft names and codes... Aided by Lex McAulay's short bio (a Kindle book, BTW, hence the citation of section titles rather than page numbers), a few years ago I produced an account of Rawlinson's career that satisfied MilHist A-Class requirements, but as coverage of his later life was next to zero I left it at that at the time. (Oddly, considering his apparently successful career in the RAF, not the Times nor the Independent nor the UK Telegraph carried obits for him as they did for fellow No. 3 Squadron RAAF commander Bobby Gibbes, who died the same year, never served in the RAF, and had a similar official victory score.) In the years since this gained A-Class status nothing seems to have surfaced of a notable post-military career so I think he must've led a very relaxed life and it's time to put his article up for FAC. Tks in advance for your comments! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 19:42, 7 January 2023 (UTC)

Images are appropriately licensed. Nikkimaria (talk) 03:45, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Tks Nikki. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 11:26, 8 January 2023 (UTC)

Support - SC
Just one comment, in the Middle East section. You write that "he posted out to the Middle East": this reads a little oddly – "he was posted" feels more natural. Your decision won't impact on my support.I have no subject knowledge here, so I do not pass comment on the completeness of sources used, etc, but simply the standard of prose and adherence to the MOS in relation to FA criteria. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 15:14, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Fair enough re. "posted out", happy to alter per suggestion -- tks for reviewing! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 19:27, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Fwiw, I believe "posted out" is a common military term but there's nothing wrong with plainer English. HJ Mitchell &#124; Penny for your thoughts? 18:38, 17 January 2023 (UTC)

Comments from Harry
—As usual, Ian, very little to criticise. HJ Mitchell &#124; Penny for your thoughts? 18:38, 17 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Believe you need a closing comma after the post-nominal letters
 * I tend to agree that it makes sense but I think convention (in sources, not just in WP) is no last comma...
 * representing both in football, swimming and athletics representing the school?
 * "representing both schools" you mean?
 * Sorry, I misread it, but yes I think "represented both schools " would be an improvement. HJ Mitchell &#124; Penny for your thoughts? 21:20, 19 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Done. Ian Rose (talk) 22:53, 19 January 2023 (UTC)
 * According to biographer Lex McAulay, maybe specify that this was in a biography of Rawlinson specifically?
 * Done.
 * I would consider splitting the Middle East section up; my rule of thumb is usually four chunky paragraphs or five thinner ones between headers but that's just personal preference.
 * That's a tantalising thought, Harry. I don't think I've ever split a Middle East section but I agree this one is quite long (borne partly of my desire to add more context to the tale, fitting Rawlinson's actions into the bigger picture of what the Allies and Axis were doing). If we were to split I think the logical spot would be precisely the half-way point, start of the fifth para, when he moves to Palestine. Thoughts on subheaders? Western Desert campaign for the first part and Syria-Lebanon campaign and return to Western Desert for the second?
 * Those seem like logical headers to me. HJ Mitchell &#124; Penny for your thoughts? 21:20, 19 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Done. Ian Rose (talk) 22:53, 19 January 2023 (UTC)
 * according to McAulay
 * Heh, something missing here? Or to do with the next point...?
 * Ignore me! HJ Mitchell &#124; Penny for your thoughts? 21:20, 19 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Any idea what it was about the RAAF that he didn't like, or why the RAF was different?
 * Unfortunately not -- I always like to know why people make transfers like this but this is the best I've found...
 * "as much as possible of the HQFC syllabus was crammed into each sortie" Who is this quoting?
 * Still Rawlinson himself.
 * Always glad to see you stopping by, Harry. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 19:12, 17 January 2023 (UTC)
 * More than happy to support. <b style="color: teal; font-family: Tahoma">HJ Mitchell</b> &#124; <span style="color: navy; font-family: Times New Roman" title="(Talk page)">Penny for your thoughts? 10:53, 20 January 2023 (UTC)

Source review
Spotchecks not done.


 * Be consistent in when you include publication location
 * I realise I had a location for a website (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) when I didn't for other sites, so removed that -- did you have any others in mind?
 * Banner Books has no location, but the other books do; Flight has no location, but the other periodicals do. Nikkimaria (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Tks Nikki -- added. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 22:52, 21 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Is the author of Oboe Water or Waters? Short and full cite don't match
 * Oops, corrected.
 * Missing full citation details for Morton
 * Very remiss of me, corrected.
 * I'm not able to locate much information about Banner Books - do you know their editorial policy, or is there other information available to assess their reliability? Nikkimaria (talk) 20:47, 21 January 2023 (UTC)
 * I have to admit I was looking at the author rather than the publisher when I considered the source's reliability -- McAulay has written many works that one can find referenced in A-Class and Featured Articles; Banner Books seems to be his own imprint but he's an established historian who's been published by third parties such as St. Martin's Press, Naval Institute Press, Allen & Unwin, and Random House. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 22:22, 21 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Hi Nikkimaria, how is this looking? Gog the Mild (talk) 13:06, 3 February 2023 (UTC)
 * Fine by me. Nikkimaria (talk) 00:25, 4 February 2023 (UTC)

Support Comments from JennyOz
Hello Ian, I have only a few questions and suggestions... References That is all I can see to comment on. Regards, JennyOz (talk) 11:27, 1 February 2023 (UTC)
 * East Melbourne Harriers' Club, becoming - too early to be a Hash House Harriers club?
 * I don't know we can say for sure...
 * flying officer as of 22 November 1939 - backdated to?
 * Done.
 * Three months later - is ambiguous ie later than April 1940 or than Nov 39? Just add month year?
 * Done.
 * following the armistice with the French on 14 July - wlink Armistice of Saint Jean d'Acre
 * Done.
 * escort mission near Bir el Gubi in the morning - add in Italian Libya?
 * Done.
 * commander of No. 78 (Fighter) Wing at Tarakan on 25 May - add Borneo
 * Done.
 * arriving at Deniliquin - change link to RAAF Station Deniliquin?
 * Done.
 * then in August to RAAF Station Williamtown, - no nsw?
 * Heh, I tend not to repeat the state if it hasn't changed from the last locale mentioned -- but now I see I'm being inconsistent because I mention NSW for both Deniliquin and Schofields but not Williamtown. WDYT, remove for Schofields to reduce repetition, or add for Williamtown to keep consistent and unambiguous? I'm in your hands...!
 * Hmm, six of one, half a dozen of the other, a bob each way, no need to change horse midstream! I went with what you usually "tend". As you were!
 * Rawlinson took a commission in the Royal Air Force - I'd insert the "in Britain" from next sentence in here (ie took a commission in Britain in the) just to help emphasise RAF v RAAF
 * Done.
 * name of the game. ... The - use a mos ellipsis?
 * I have to admit my ignorance of a MOS ellipsis...
 * I added the sq brackets solution
 * nuclear threat..." - no need for ellipsis at end? so nuclear threat".
 * Okay.
 * Meteor NF.11; his duties took - link NF (night fighter)?
 * Tks, I thought linking to Gloster Meteor might be even better...
 * in the Queen's Birthday Honours promulgated - refine link to 1958 Birthday Honours?
 * Done.
 * Newton, Dennis (1996). Australian Air Aces. Fyshwyck, - Fyshwick
 * Morton, Peter (1989). Fire Over the Desert: Woomera and the Angol-Australian Joint Project 1946–1980 - typo Anglo
 * I wish we could clone you Jenny, time and again you spot the errors no-one else does (including of course me)...!
 * Royal Australian Air Force (1938–1948). "A.C. Rawlinson". RAAF Officers Personnel Files. Canberra – via National Library of Australia. -
 * 1. address won't resolve, I think URL needs to now be prefaced https.
 * Hmm, still seemed to work for me but have updated to include https in any case.
 * 2. though that has 1939–1948 (not 1938), if it matters
 * Fixed.
 * 3. Via National Library of Australia should be National Archives of Australia?
 * Fixed.
 * Thanks so much for looking this over, Jenny. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:25, 1 February 2023 (UTC)
 * All good Ian. Happy to s'port. Thanks for telling his story. JennyOz (talk) 05:43, 2 February 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks Jenny! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 09:53, 2 February 2023 (UTC)

Comment from Chris

 * Support - all good :-) -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 08:38, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
 * Tks Chris. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 16:37, 4 February 2023 (UTC)

Gog the Mild (talk) 19:51, 5 February 2023 (UTC)