Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Appointment to the Order of Canada/archive1

Appointment to the Order of Canada
Self-renom. It failed before due to either lack or participation or because of my choice of photos. Well, sadly, most of the photos I have found are either CanadaCopyright or an even more restricting license. Some, I can only find on Government websites. Well, let's see how this works out, again. Zscout370 (Sound Off) 05:19, 24 August 2005 (UTC)
 * Object. not well-written. This reads like the stuff I write in the morning before coffee kicks in. Example: "The other exception, which is not listed in the Order's Constitution, is that Canadians who are either politicians or judges serving in either the federal government or any provincial or territorial government. The Order is also not permitted to be awarded posthumously." Monicasdude 13:40, 24 August 2005 (UTC)
 * I have reworded it as follows: "Canadian politicians and judges that currently hold office are also not eligible to be appointed to the Order. Membership the Order cannot be awarded posthumously." Zscout370 (Sound Off) 16:03, 24 August 2005 (UTC)
 * When an editor objects to an article, cites a general problem, and provides a specific example, fixing the specific example does not fix the general problem. I don't know how else to respond prudently. Monicasdude 17:42, 24 August 2005 (UTC)
 * While saying a general rewrite is a good idea, some people cite examples of confusing text. I will try to rewrite the whole thing. Zscout370 (Sound Off) 19:56, 24 August 2005 (UTC)

Ok, I rewrote the article, what do you think? Zscout370 (Sound Off) 20:45, 24 August 2005 (UTC)
 * I've made examples of the kind of changes I think the text needs in the first part of the article. I think the writing needs to be more compact and more direct. Monicasdude 21:29, 24 August 2005 (UTC)
 * I think you exposed a weakness of mine: I tend to make things wordy. Some of the material I removed are already present on the main Order of Canada article. I still have one more section to go, but other than it being too wordy, is there any problem you see? Zscout370 (Sound Off) 22:15, 24 August 2005 (UTC)
 * Well, I don't buy the idea that it took 13 years to find a date when Wayne Gretzky was free, but other than that . . . Probably a link to the Order's constitution, which is referred to, if it's online. (note: if/when my last concerns are met, I'll just withdraw the objection; I don't think it's appropriate to actively support without any real knowledge of the subject matter). Monicasdude 00:14, 25 August 2005 (UTC)
 * Source of the Gretzky tidbit: http://slam.canoe.ca/Gretzky/orderofcanada.html. I have a link to the Order's Constitution at my references section (twice, actually). I just made it more noticable. As for other objections, just let me know what else you wish to be fixed. Zscout370 (Sound Off) 00:25, 25 August 2005 (UTC)