Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Bank of China (Hong Kong)/archive1

Bank of China (Hong Kong)
Bank of China (Hong Kong) (BOCHK) has been on WP:PR for some time, with comments addressed. I've modeled this after Ryanair so all the fundamentals should be there. (Note: Self-nomination; note that my passbook and credit cards appear on the page.) Also see the disclosure on my user page. --JuntungWu 14:06, 16 Feb 2005 (UTC)


 * Support - I've already reviewed this, and (as usual) it's of high quality! I only wish that I could do as good a job on L.J. Hooker... Ta bu shi da yu 01:14, 17 Feb 2005 (UTC)
 * Support. Johnleemk | Talk 05:16, 17 Feb 2005 (UTC)
 * Support Great work. Object, sorry since it is very good information and meets all the criteria except the writing is very confusing in parts. Examples include the intro, where it is quite confusing among Bank of China (Hong Kong), Bank of China (Hong Kong) Limited, Bank of China, BOC (Hong Kong) Holdings Limited, which is which. Adding to the confusion is the name of the headquarters Bank of China Tower which makes me think it is the tower of the Bank of China, not the HK subsidiary. I hope that is all made clear later in the article, but the point is the intro should ease a reader in that doesn't already know the topic. You can help that by eliminating extra detail in the intro that is not critical to understanding the topic. Also a number of topics in the article need some more context for the reader that does not already know the topic to be able understand it. An example is Renminbi, that should be explained in the text where it is at. Doesn't need more than one good sentence or so, but something. - Taxman 02:43, Feb 18, 2005 (UTC)
 * Finally some objections and chance for improvements. Great.. Anyway, (1) it IS very confusing because of the convoluted structure of Bank of China companies. I'll put in an organisation chart or something. (2) The name of the headquarters is "Bank of China Tower" because it was built by the Bank of China and named as such, even though it's now used by BOCHK. To add to the confusion BOC calls all of their buildings "Bank of China Tower" be it in Shenzhen, Guangzhou, Shanghai or Beijing or any other city anywhere on planet Earth. (3) I'll add something about Renminbi. JuntungWu 03:22, 18 Feb 2005 (UTC)
 * Okay, I've added some context on renminbi, added details on the Bank of China Tower's ownership, rewrote the intro to hint that the building's name is a historical oddity; gave context on renminbi, and slimmed the intro slightly. JuntungWu 01:19, 19 Feb 2005 (UTC)
 * Excellent fixes indeed and this is well on its way to being featured. So with that in mind I will point out a few more things. The intro fixes where great, and I don't think it needs an organization cahrt now that it is much clearer. 1) Telling what Renminbi is in the intro is very helpful. But if someone missed that, the section where Renminbi is actually covered needs that same or similar bit of context too. The 'Renminbi clearing bank' section still launches straight in without telling us what it is. 2) A number of sections have too many one sentence paragraphs. That breaks up the flow of the text too much. Either merge them together well or expand the ones that don't make sense to merge together. Especially the 'Bank of China Group' and 'Corporate structure and BOC (Hong Kong) Holdings' sections. The rest are more or less fine. 3) Finally the infobox lists three products that BOCHK offers. That seems awfully odd since I'm sure they offer much much more. And the things that are there are assumed to be offered by any bank, no? I guess I don't see a reason for that to be in the infobox, or else it should be expanded to be comprehensive. I suppose those are three broad categories that could be considered to include almost everything, but it still seems odd. Maybe it should be called Major products or something. 4) Is the slogan really incorrect with every day being one word? Or was that just a translation error? When used as one word, it has a slightly different meaning (an adjective) than what is required there (a noun). - Taxman 16:30, Feb 19, 2005 (UTC)
 * In reverse order: (4) the slogan is a typo; fixed. (See top right hand side of this web page). (3) Now just says "commercial banking" which is basically what it does. I'll look at (2) and (1) more closely.JuntungWu 18:11, 20 Feb 2005 (UTC)
 * More fixes: I've added a paragraph to (1) to elaborate on the clearing bank business, and (2) some paragraphs have been merged. A bit on (3): BOCHK offers less products than say Citigroup or HSBC as a big part of financial services (e.g., insurance, securities) are offered by its parent, Bank of China. So it seems like a good idea now to just say "commercial banks". JuntungWu 18:27, 20 Feb 2005 (UTC)
 * Great work, thanks. It's much better. - Taxman 16:00, Feb 21, 2005 (UTC)
 * Support,--User:Boothy443 | comhrÚ 03:49, 18 Feb 2005 (UTC)
 * Support. --Felix Wan 02:09, 2005 Feb 19 (UTC)
 * Support.  &mdash; Instantnood 23:21 Feb 20 2005 (UTC)
 * Support. - Mailer Diablo 09:42, 27 Feb 2005 (UTC)