Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Blood on the Floor (Turnage)/archive1

Blood on the Floor (Turnage)

 * Nominator(s): Schminnte (talk • contribs) 22:04, 16 August 2023 (UTC)

Blood on the Floor is a modern concerto grosso that I stumbled upon while researching the works of Mark-Anthony Turnage, a composer whose works often fuse jazz and classical music. A relatively recent work by classical music standards (composed from 1993 to 1996), it's seen as Turnage's most extensive fusions of these two genres. The suite was written for a large orchestra including many unusual instruments and reflects Turnage's feelings on the death of his brother, Andrew.

I should note here that this is my first ever FAC, so I may need extra explanations if I don't understand some comments. I hope I have done justice to this wonderful work and hope that you will enjoy learning about this piece like I did. (Tim, here is the promised ping!) Thank you all, Schminnte (talk • contribs) 22:04, 16 August 2023 (UTC)

MyCatIsAChonk
Very exciting to see this at FAC, will review soon! I'll note for other reviewers that I was present at the PR. MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 01:06, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Footnote a needs ref
 * done, must have been moved during the GA review - S
 * Footnote b: Turnage had previously been a student of Gunther Schuller—the musician who coined the term "third stream"—at Tanglewood. - change the tense to past tense, "Turnage was a student of Gunther Schuller—the musician who coined the term "third stream"—when he attended Tanglewood."
 * done - S
 * ...first time that Turnage had integrated improvisation into one of his compositions. - cut "had"
 * done - S
 * Caption: "Elegy for Andy" incorporates musical quotations from Madama Buterfly - typo in Butterfly, and wl Madama Butterfly
 * partly done: my spellcheck doesn't work on italics, thanks for spotting that. As for Madama Butterfly, it's linked in the prose just next to the image so I'm hesitant to link per MOS:REPEATLINK. Do you think it's necessary to provide a repeat? - S
 * , I usually link things in captions; the aforementioned MOS:REPEATLINK states, "Generally, a link should appear only once in an article, but it may be repeated if helpful for readers, such as in infoboxes, tables, image captions, footnotes, hatnotes, and at the first occurrence in a section." MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 13:54, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * MyCatIsAChonk, I was noting that, but I was unsure due to the proximity of the image to the link. I can't see any harm in doing this though, so I've went ahead and linked. Schminnte (talk • contribs) 13:56, 17 August 2023 (UTC)


 * ...fifteen and three-quarter minutes. - never seen time written this way, would be better as "fifteen minutes and 45 seconds"
 * I've done this for consistency with the other written out times and MOS:NUMNOTES says to not use mixed figures and words in this situation. - S
 * Fair enough then. MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 13:54, 17 August 2023 (UTC)


 * All citations should use the same casing (title case or sentence case)- this includes the citations under "Sources"
 * Should be done, please tell me if I've missed any. - S
 * Put "none" in the  parameter of the templates under "Further reading"
 * done - S
 * My only other concern is the paragraph indentation. In a number of places, paragraphs are only one or two sentences long, which looks (in my opinion) rather un-encyclopedic. There's some MOS thing about this, but I can't find it for the life of me- oh, well, I'll just have to make another sacrifice to the MOS gods. I suggest formatting more sentences into larger paragraphs, particularly under "Performances"
 * I think you're thinking of MOS:PARA? I've tried to combine some sentences to meet this, but it seems to be talking about single sentence paragraphs mainly. - S
 * Looks much better now! MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 13:54, 17 August 2023 (UTC)

, that's all I got- excellent work since the peer review! Please ping me in replies. MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 01:27, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your input again @MyCatIsAChonk! I have responded to all your points, some of which I am unsure on. Thanks, Schminnte (talk • contribs) 13:47, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Very nice work! There's one more thing I forgot- also per MOS:CONFORMTITLE, the names of works in citation titles should be italicised too (e.g. imagine a hypothetical review article titled "Review of Turnage's Blood on the Floor") MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) <small style="font-size:40%;">(still no) 13:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I think that should be done now as well @MyCatIsAChonk. Thanks, <span style="font-family: Opensans, sans-serif;">Schminnte (talk • contribs) 14:03, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Support - very nice work on this article since creation! MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) <small style="font-size:66%;">(also not me) <small style="font-size:40%;">(still no) 14:11, 17 August 2023 (UTC)

Image review

 * Suggest adding alt text
 * I've tried to do this, please correct me if I have made a mistake. This is (I think) my first time using alt text. - S
 * Captions that are complete sentences should end in periods. Nikkimaria (talk) 04:03, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * 2nd point done, will need checking on 1st point. Thanks Nikkimaria. <span style="font-family: Opensans, sans-serif;">Schminnte (talk • contribs) 13:47, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Mostly fine, except for a typo in Miller Theatre. Also noticed that a couple of the later images have fixed px size - see MOS:IMGSIZE. Nikkimaria (talk) 20:20, 19 August 2023 (UTC)
 * The fixed px should now be gone, thanks for catching the typo Nikkimaria. <span style="font-family: Opensans, sans-serif;">Schminnte (talk • contribs) 21:04, 19 August 2023 (UTC)

Support from Tim riley
I've followed the progress of this article for a little while, and contributed to the peer review, where my various comments were duly dealt with. On rereading now I find nothing new to quibble at (except possibly for the spelling "infantalize" even though the cited NYT spells it thus). The article seems to me to meet all the FA criteria. It appears to be comprehensive, is well sourced, easy to read and as well illustrated as one could ask for in an article about a work of recent times. Happy to support its apotheosis.  Tim riley  talk   16:50, 20 August 2023 (UTC)


 * Thank you very much Tim! As an aside, the Cambridge, Merriam-Webster and Oxford all seem to accept "infantilize", not "infantalize". I've assumed that this is an error and corrected it per MOS:TYPOFIX. All the best, <span style="font-family: Opensans, sans-serif;">Schminnte (talk • contribs) 17:10, 20 August 2023 (UTC)

Source review - pass
Fine, but a few quibbles and comments: Passing the source review.  Tim riley  talk   13:40, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
 * We don't usually give both ISBNs and OCLC numbers for books in the list of sources. I see no actual harm in such a work of supererogation here, but a judicious trimming might be in order.
 * I don't think we need to be told in the list of sources that London is in the UK or that New York city is in New York state, or that Cincinnati is in Ohio (as opposed, perhaps, to the numerous Cincinnatis elsewhere).
 * Discussing the sources before FAC, I think I recall concurring with another editor that although published doctoral theses are OK for WP:RS, MA theses might be iffy, but on reflection I don't think it's a problem: a major university has given its imprimatur. There are 16 citations to the Styles thesis, but I think that's all right.
 * The capitalisation of the Styles work in the list of sources looks a bit odd.
 * The magazine and newspaper sources are all eminently WP:RS.


 * The quibbles above are fixed, I've whittled the identifiers down to ISBNs only and removed the unnecessary disambiguators in the location parameters. I did have rationales for the usages of the theses in case they were questioned, so I'll put these down here for anyone else who may be interested: all the doctoral theses have been cited in other works apart from Vellianitis, which can be explained by how relatively new it is. This should be made up for by the fact that the Vellianitis thesis was advised by Professor Peter Franklin, a respected musicologist who has served on the editorial boards of several journals (Nineteenth-Century Music Review, The Wagner Journal and 19th-Century Music). As for Lowery, I consider him a high-quality reliable source as he has served as a lecturer in musicology at institutions like Lewis University. He is also a member of the Society for Ethnomusicology and has given presentations at the society's conferences in the past. All the best, <span style="font-family: Opensans, sans-serif;">Schminnte (talk • contribs) 16:37, 25 August 2023 (UTC)

GWL
Hey there! Just got some spare time to scroll through FAC, so I'll give this a shot. See invisible comments for my comments' division based on the sections! Additionally if you're interested, I have a FAC-awaiting PR.  Gerald WL  10:50, 5 September 2023 (UTC)
 * @Gerald Waldo Luis, I have attempted to respond to all of your many points. Some I have asked questions about, very few have been declined, and the vast majority have been actioned on. Are you happy with these changes? If I have messed something up or missed a note, please tell me. Thanks a lot for your comments, <span style="font-family: Opensans, sans-serif;">Schminnte (talk • contribs) 19:57, 5 September 2023 (UTC)
 * @Gerald Waldo Luis, more replies below, I hope these help! <span style="font-family: Opensans, sans-serif;">Schminnte (talk • contribs) 16:58, 6 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Hey there, I did a couple more replies but they're just confirmations and I think this article looks all good now! I'll give my support once my last comment is resolved, the one about the archives down below.  Gerald WL  03:28, 7 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Archives have now been added to the URLs. Thanks again for all of your comments! <span style="font-family: Opensans, sans-serif;">Schminnte (talk • contribs) 07:33, 7 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Then that makes a support! I tried listening to it (Decca ver.) and found myself enjoy Sweet and Decay :) Also no pressure but if you can stop by my PR that I linked above that'd be great!  Gerald WL  08:57, 7 September 2023 (UTC)

Gog the Mild (talk) 12:24, 22 September 2023 (UTC)