Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Denial (Sugababes song)/archive1


 * The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by 10:01, 15 April 2013 (UTC).

Denial (Sugababes song)

 * Nominator(s): Till  11:10, 15 March 2013 (UTC)

I am nominating this for featured article because... I believe it is an accurate representation of one of the best song articles on Wikipedia. I have written this article in a similar vein to another Sugababes song, "Push the Button" which was recently promoted as a featured article. Till 11:10, 15 March 2013 (UTC)

Comments: This has been here far too long without attention, so here are some comments, mainly on prose and presentation. Others will have to judge issues of accuracy and comprehensiveness:
 * Lead too short, needs expanding into s full summary of the article
 * "The song received mixed reviews, who were ambivalent towards its composition..." - "reviews" are not "who" subjects
 * "...became a commercial success throughout Europe, where it at number one..." A word missing.
 * In the "Writing and production" section we have: "English singer and songwriter V V Brown wrote "Denial" while she was on London Underground's Victoria line...", and later: "The Sugababes co-wrote "Denial" in collaboration with Flex Turner and Elliot Malloy, the song's producers and programmers". So who wrote what?
 * That kind of information doesn't exist, the only thing I know is that she wrote it for the band, but they (and the producers) somehow receive co-writing credits Till  03:19, 1 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Also, you don't need both "co-wrote" and "in collaboration with"
 * I suggest you don't use the quote template for short quotes. It looks untidy and confusing.
 * In "Composition", please check the link on "instrumentation". Why are the words "warm" and "lush" in quotes?
 * "opened with the line" → "that opens with the line"
 * "the fundamentals rather than the fundamentalism of love": I have no idea what this means; can you help?
 * I think he's trying to say that the song isn't about the importance of love in particular despite being a lovelorn song. Till  03:37, 1 April 2013 (UTC)
 * If you're not sure what he means, I suggest you don't use the quote, which as given is pretty well meaningless. Brianboulton (talk) 10:33, 1 April 2013 (UTC)
 * But hardly any critics commented on the song's concept. Till  11:48, 1 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Removed the quote. Till  12:33, 2 April 2013 (UTC)
 * "'Denial' received mixed reviews from critics." This sentence is pretty well a statement of the obvious. The phrase "mixed reviews" appears in almost every article about a song, musical or theatrical work, because the huge majority of such works get some good and some bad reviews. Why not just lead in with the reviews summary, and drop the cliché?
 * "The song rose from number 34 to number 15 on 22 March 2008" - did the rise take place all on the one day? Or had it isen to 34 by that date?
 * "The single has since sold approximately 90,000 copies in the UK" - unless you make this statement date-specific it will soon be out of date. Thus "By (date) the single had sold..." etc
 * Consistency required in formats of ordinal numbers - you have "sixteenth" and "43rd"
 * The quote box in the Music video section is too wide, particulary opposite the lower part of the preceding image.
 * That image, incidentally, seems scarcely to justify a fair use rationale.
 * I think it backs up the points about the extravagent outfits in the video. Till  03:19, 1 April 2013 (UTC)
 * "Backing up" is insufficient reason for using a non-free image. I suggest you look at the image sections of Non-free content to see whether the use of the image can be justified within policy. Brianboulton (talk) 10:33, 1 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Since I can't be bothered to read that page or make an argument, I have removed the image from the article and replaced with a picture of the band. Till  11:48, 1 April 2013 (UTC)
 * There are disambiguation links requiring attention (use the toolbox)

That's something to be going on with. Brianboulton (talk) 11:41, 31 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Everything fixed, except for the ones I have specifically responded to Till  03:19, 1 April 2013 (UTC)

Review by John
 * Lead paragraph: What does "It features the group in various outfits and environments." add?
 * Removed Till  10:05, 9 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Writing and production: "songs she writes for enjoyment purposes"? "subsequently obtained by their management"?
 * Copyedited both sentences Till  10:05, 9 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Music video: Do we need: "Brown stated that the partnership ended "amicably" due to personal differences between the two, although he also expressed his desire to "start a new chapter" in his career."?
 * "I shot the video like fashion editorial, " is true to the source but it is awkward English. Could we add [a] into the sentence?
 * Removed the sentence and added [a] to the other sentence. Till  04:25, 13 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Overall, based on prose alone, this could be a pass with some modest work. I can't speak about sourcing or completeness. --John (talk) 09:34, 9 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Thank you. Till  10:05, 9 April 2013 (UTC)

Delegate's closing comment - Unfortunately, after one month there is no clear consensus to promoted this article and I will be archiving it presently. Graham Colm (talk) 09:45, 15 April 2013 (UTC)

Graham Colm (talk) 09:47, 15 April 2013 (UTC)
 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.