Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Dryomyza anilis/archive1

Dryomyza anilis

 * Nominator(s): AnuBalasubramanian (talk) 18:05, 19 October 2019 (UTC)

This article is about a particular fly species, Dryomyza anilis. The article thoroughly covers information on the fly's distribution, appearance, mating behaviors, life stages, and a variety of other information. The information is sourced from scientific papers, and incorporates most of the existing research that is present on the fly. This fly is especially noteworthy because it has some interesting mating behaviors that have been under study for quite some time now. Moreover, the page has undergone numerous peer reviews and the original editor has incorporated these in order to continually improve the page. AnuBalasubramanian (talk) 18:05, 19 October 2019 (UTC)

Comment: This is a first-time FAC nom from a fairly inexperienced WP editor. It looks well researched and uses appropriate academic sources, but in terms of its presentation it falls short of the required FA criteria in a number of respects. For example:
 * Inappropriate citations in lead. The lead is supposed to be a brief summary of the essential points in the article; it should not contain material that's not in the article itself, and the information should be cited in the main text, not in the lead.
 * Uncited material, e.g. in section "Contests over females", also, further on: "Large females are at an advantage as they often participate in fewer matings" and "the interactions between salmon and the fly species can be used as a mechanism to measure ecosystem health".
 * Inappropriate use of bullet points rather than prose.
 * Too many very short sections
 * A little too much specialized language, e.g. "Pharyngeal sclerites have progressed to display narrow windows posteroventrally and posterodorsally, on the dorsal and ventral cornua, respectively". I accept that in scientific articles, some such description is inevitable, but it's important that, on the whole, the article should be broadly comprehensive to the general reader - Wikipedia is not a science journal.
 * Minor MoS infractions which I won't bother to highlight, as they're pretty unimportant and can be adjusted later.

There is much good work here, and I'd like to see this article brought to featured status, but would strongly advise you to seek a mentor to help you bring the article up to the required standard of presentation. Mentoring is fairly common practice for first-time nominations - you can leave a request on WT:FAC. Brianboulton (talk) 22:56, 19 October 2019 (UTC)

Coordinator comment - As this appears to require substantial further preparation before it meets WP:WIAFA, I am archiving it. Please work to address the points raised here, and I strong suggest you work with a mentor as suggested above. The article may be re-nominated after a minimum two-week waiting period. -- Laser brain  (talk)  11:35, 21 October 2019 (UTC) -- Laser brain  (talk)  11:35, 21 October 2019 (UTC)