Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Frances Gertrude McGill/archive1

Frances Gertrude McGill

 * Nominator(s): Alanna the Brave (talk) 00:57, 2 December 2020 (UTC)

This article is about Canadian criminologist and forensic pathologist Frances Gertrude McGill (1882–1959), who helped establish the first Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) forensic laboratory in 1937. Nicknamed "the Sherlock Holmes of Saskatchewan" for her deductive skills, McGill solved prominent cases across the province and later taught forensic investigative techniques to RCMP recruits. I brought this article up to GA status in 2018, and have since made substantial edits in response to a peer review and some helpful advice from Iridescent & others. Although well known to the public during her lifetime, McGill has fallen into some obscurity since then -- I think her story is a fascinating one and well-worth the effort of bringing up to featured article status. This is my first FA nomination. Alanna the Brave (talk) 00:57, 2 December 2020 (UTC)

Image review—pass

 * File:Streetcar on Albert Street bridge, looking south towards the Legislative Buildings, circa 1935.jpg File:Frances Gertrude McGill working in laboratory.png if these is post-1925, the US licensing is incorrect. How do we know that this image was in the public domain in Canada on 1 January 1996 so that it will also be free in US per URAA?
 * thanks for catching that! The streetcar photo licensing is definitely incorrect -- I did some checking this morning, and I'm not certain that it WAS public domain in 1996 (since it's anonymous and apparently unpublished, which may require 75 years instead of 50 for copyright to lapse), so I've just removed it from the article for now. Can you clarify your concerns about the McGill laboratory photo? That one already uses the URAA license tag, and it was published early enough that I think it should meet requirements for URAA. Alanna the Brave (talk) 17:59, 2 December 2020 (UTC)
 * File:Frances Gertrude McGill working in laboratory.png — the issue is that it's not clear to me, based on relevant Canadian copyright law, whether this photograph was in the public domain in Canada on 1 January 1996. Could you explain your reasoning why this is the case? (t &#183; c)  buidhe  12:13, 6 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I think I was mistaken, unfortunately -- I was under the impression that published photographs became public domain in Canada after 50 years, but I'm not able to confirm that now (or at least, it doesn't seem to have been applicable during 1996). Thanks for your patience -- I've removed the photo from the article. I'm going to have to keep improving my understanding of copyright rules. Alanna the Brave (talk) 00:22, 8 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Other images are OK for licensing (t &#183; c)  buidhe  01:07, 2 December 2020 (UTC)

Comments from Eddie

 * looks like a fascinating article. Will comment shortly- ping me after like a week or two if I forget, please. Eddie891 Talk Work 18:45, 5 December 2020 (UTC)
 * "McGill trained as a teacher at the Winnipeg Normal School" Do we have dates?
 * Nope -- I haven't been able to find any clear dates, although it was most likely between 1900 and 1910. Alanna the Brave (talk) 15:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * "She was soon responsible" and add a month if possible, perhaps?
 * Done -- October 1918. Alanna the Brave (talk) 15:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * "once travelling all the way to the Arctic Circle.", perhaps?
 * Done. Alanna the Brave (talk) 15:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Earning the unofficial nickname" If it was unofficial, maybe add where it came from?
 * That's uncertain. Merna Foster and Susanna McLeod both reference this nickname, but I don't know exactly where/when it originated. Alanna the Brave (talk) 15:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * I think you can link Holmes again in the body
 * Done! Alanna the Brave (talk) 15:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * " by obtaining an assistant and" perhaps "hiring" an assistant?
 * Done. Alanna the Brave (talk) 15:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * "continued to attract notice across Canada and overseas." there's no indication of any notice 'continuing'-- had there been some before?
 * Rephrased: "had attracted notice across Canada and overseas". Alanna the Brave (talk) 15:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * ", and discovered that five of the bodies were murder victims" and none of the five had been suspected/confirmed to be murder victims presumably?
 * I think that's the presumption, but this information comes from a single line in the source material, and it's hard to identify any more nuance to it. Alanna the Brave (talk) 15:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * " and "a gasp went through the crowd" as court watchers " what's being quoted here?
 * Clarified in text -- it's a description from biographer Myrna Petersen. Alanna the Brave (talk) 15:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * While interesting, I'm kinda struggling to see the relevance of "The South Poplar Case" to this article -- curious to hear your thoughts on the matter
 * Sure! There are a number of different cases I could have chosen as examples in this article. Contemporary media/interviews tended to focus on the most sensational cases, and the Lintlaw Case and Northern Trapper Case were among those. However, I wanted specifically to highlight McGill's skills (and her role in affecting the outcome of cases), and not all of the sensational cases actually involved her in any great capacity. I found the South Poplar Case an appealing choice because it was an example of how McGill used her skills to uncover the truth about a suspicious death, rectifying an earlier forensic error and helping police avoid a totally unnecessary investigation. Does that make sense? If you feel it's the weakest case example, I may be able to replace it with another (or add a fourth case), but I think it's a reasonable inclusion. Alanna the Brave (talk) 15:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * "For bedtime reading, she often indulged in crime fiction" perhaps simply "she enjoyed reading crime fiction" or something similar, unless we know that she only red it at bedtime
 * I'm not sure how important it is, but the source does specify "bedtime reading". I'm guessing McGill didn't have a lot of spare time to read for pleasure. ;-) Alanna the Brave (talk) 15:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * you could probably add something about consideration for being on money?
 * I'm conflicted. To the best of my understanding, historian Merna Forster was simply suggesting McGill as a possible candidate for inclusion on a bill -- but the government never formally listed McGill as being in the running, and she wasn't ultimately chosen (they went with Viola Desmond in the end). I'm inclined to leave it out, unless you think Forster's opinion as a historian is worth mentioning? Alanna the Brave (talk) 15:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)

Very interesting article, well done on the whole. My comments are pretty minor, subjective things for the most part. It is curious to me that there isn't more to say about such an interesting person. I may be back with some more comments. Cheers, Eddie891 Talk Work 02:29, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * thanks for the review! I think I've addressed your concerns/comments thus far -- let me know if there's anything else. I also find it curious that there isn't more to say about McGill; the fact that she was a woman in an unconventional profession probably contributed to some lack of coverage/legacy, especially after her death, but I suppose she was also a rather private person (no autobiography, few existing interviews). Alanna the Brave (talk) 15:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Satisfied with your responses, I agree now that the money bit doesn't merit inclusion, were I writing this article I'd cut the South Poplar case, but I won't impose myself upon your article, I really do think it's fine with or without it. Well done, Support -- mostly on prose but after a few searches I'm inclined to think comprehensiveness is met, though if I get a chance I'll look again for more. Cheers, Eddie891 Talk Work 17:27, 11 December 2020 (UTC)

Source Review — pass
I'll do a source formatting review, but when my vet shows up, I'll have to finish it later.
 * Ref 3 Basswood 1878-1978: It's a book so needs place of publishing Basswood, Manitoba. Averill says it was printed in 1978 (which is confirmed by Worldcat.) Optional to list oclc #63072380
 * Done. Alanna the Brave (talk) 00:33, 6 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Ref 4 Medicine and Duty: Entire title should be in title case. Norris should show as editor. Calgary is misspelled as publishing location. ISBN 978-1-55238-193-9 missing, (while it is optional, as you have listed it for other books they should be consistent).
 * Done. Not sure how I managed to spell "Calgary" quite so whimsically there. ;-) Alanna the Brave (talk) 00:33, 6 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Ref 7 ISBN sections should be formatted 978-1-55488-970-9
 * Done. Alanna the Brave (talk) 00:33, 6 December 2020 (UTC)

More to follow. SusunW (talk) 23:26, 5 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Ref 8: date of article September 16, 2010 missing
 * Fixed. Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:24, 8 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Ref 12: Add link freely accessible source.
 * Done. Alanna the Brave (talk) 23:36, 9 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Ref 13: Place of publication, Toronto missing
 * Fixed. Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:24, 8 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Ref 14: Place of publication, Ottawa missing.
 * Fixed. Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:24, 8 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Ref 15: Place of publication, Ottawa missing.
 * Fixed. Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:24, 8 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Ref 17 & 18: Paper name The Leader-Post differs from name in ref 16, Regina Leader-Post. Should be consistent and probably Regina Leader-Post, as that is how our article on the paper is styled.
 * Hmm - the paper is "Regina Leader-Post" today, but in the first half of the 20th century (before merging with other papers) it was simply "The Leader-Post". Do you think it matters if I drop this distinction? I think this question applies to several of your other comments as well. Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:24, 8 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I am one of "those" who opts for accuracy over consistency (I use 10 digit ISBNs if that is what the source shows, and birth names until a legal name change), so if it were me, what I would do is use the paper's name at that time and pipe it to the current name, i.e. The Leader-Post and insert the place of publication. The reviewing guide says you must input a place of publication if it is not in the paper name, but again, I just always input a publication place. SusunW (talk) 15:07, 8 December 2020 (UTC)
 * That seems like a very sensible solution, and I'm inclined to side with accuracy over consistency too -- done! Alanna the Brave (talk) 23:36, 9 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Ref. 20: Insert links, i.e I typically list multi-page article links in the page section as 24-25, 27, 30, 39 though there are other ways to do it.
 * Works for me -- done! Alanna the Brave (talk) 23:55, 9 December 2020 (UTC)

More to follow. SusunW (talk) 15:42, 6 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Ref. 21 & 22: Star-Phoenix does not match newspaper name Saskatoon StarPhoenix in Ref. 11. Should be standardized and probably Saskatoon StarPhoenix, as guide says city of publication is required, if not included in name of newspaper.
 * Fixed (kept old name, but linked to modern name). Alanna the Brave (talk) 23:36, 9 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Ref. 26: Newspaper name should match Refs 16, 17, 18, etc.
 * Fixed. Alanna the Brave (talk) 23:36, 9 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Ref 27: Publisher is known, Canadian Science and Technology Museum
 * Fixed. Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:24, 8 December 2020 (UTC)


 * External links, though not really part of references, shows The Leader-Post, which should be consistent with all the other namings of this paper.
 * Fixed. Alanna the Brave (talk) 23:36, 9 December 2020 (UTC)

Think that is it for formatting. SusunW (talk) 16:03, 6 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Sources appear to be reliable and curated with the exception of Petersen's The Pathological Casebook of Dr. Frances McGill. That source looks to be self-published; however, based upon WP:RSSELF as she has published an article on McGill in the curated Encyclopedia of Saskatchewan it appears to meet the WP criteria for exceptions. (I note also that the Casebook was used to develop a University of Canterbury master's thesis and that Petersen received research funds for the book from the Saskatchewan Heritage Foundation lending credence that other scholarly organizations nod toward it being a reliable source.) SusunW (talk) 22:32, 7 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for taking a look at this source -- I knew about the Encyclopedia of Saskatchewan article, but I didn't know Petersen had been referenced in that master's thesis. That's helpful. Alanna the Brave (talk) 02:01, 10 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Spotcheck


 * Basswood confirms when and where the parents got typhoid, but does not indicate it was from drinking water. Just noticed that the water part is in Waiser (2017). Add citation.
 * Done. Alanna the Brave (talk) 23:36, 9 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Do not see that Herbert took over the running of the farm in McGill, but it is in Basswood
 * Corrected citation. Alanna the Brave (talk) 23:36, 9 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Can you rephrase "Two years later she became director of the provincial laboratory"? Verbatim from Celebrating Women's Achievements.
 * Done! Alanna the Brave (talk) 23:36, 9 December 2020 (UTC)

Those are the only issues found through "Retirement and consultancy". Will continue tomorrow. SusunW (talk) 23:20, 7 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I cannot find any links to The Pathological Casebook or R.C.M.P. Quarterly (1946) can you e-mail me pages 26 and 129–131 from Casebook and 2 or 3 pages from the Quarterly to spotcheck the refs?
 * I've emailed the requested pages to you. Alanna the Brave (talk) 23:36, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks. Got them and appreciate your sending them. All appears to be in order. SusunW (talk) 04:43, 10 December 2020 (UTC)


 * A local doctor ruled it murder and sent the victim's remains to McGill's laboratory for further examination does not appear to be in Hacker, p 205. Can you provide another source?
 * The info is confirmed in the RCMP Quarterly source (1946) -- I've corrected the citations in that section. Alanna the Brave (talk) 23:55, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Yes, just saw that as I was reading the RPMC article. Thanks! SusunW (talk) 23:58, 9 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Comment: I don't think that it is necessarily wrong to list pages as a broad range, but it makes it far more difficult for verification purposes. Were it me, I would show the specific page number(s) for each citation throughout the article as you have done with Petersen's Casebook.
 * That definitely makes sense for longer page ranges -- I've now inserted page numbers for individual citations from McGill H., Hacker C., Salterio J. and McGill/Willock, which are the only sources that draw from a range of more than three pages. I'm not sure it's necessary for the McGill E. and Forster M. sources (3 pages or less), but if you feel strongly about them, I can add page numbers there as well. Alanna the Brave (talk) 02:01, 10 December 2020 (UTC)

Think that's all. Thank you so much for your work on the article. SusunW (talk) 16:24, 8 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I think I've addressed all your comments so far. Thanks for the thorough review, and please let me know if you see anything else! Alanna the Brave (talk) 02:01, 10 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I think you have adequately addressed all the issues. Good luck with the rest of the reivew. SusunW (talk) 04:43, 10 December 2020 (UTC)

Comments from Mike Christie
I'm copyediting as I read through; please revert anything you disagree with.
 * had once circumnavigated the globe while travelling between teaching jobs in Canada and New Zealand: I think I know what's intended here, but I visualized a line going back and forth between Canada and New Zealand and of course that's not a circumnavigation. How about "had once circumnavigated the globe, travelling to New Zealand for a teaching job and later returning to Canada"?
 * Done. Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:00, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Post-Master: just "postmaster", I would have thought, or is there a reason to use the caps?
 * "postmaster" is perfectly adequate. Done! Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:00, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * her parents accidentally drank contaminated water at a county fair. They became ill with typhoid fever, ... Not quite right; they didn't drink it accidentally.  How about "her parents came down with typhoid fever, contracted from contaminated water they drank at a county fair, ..."?
 * Fair point. I've gone with "her parents became ill with typhoid fever after drinking contaminated water at a county fair". Does that sound better? Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:00, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * There's not much information about what McGill did between 1900 and 1915 -- trained as a teacher, sure, but did she teach? Was she living at the farm still?  If there's nothing in the sources, of course, we may not be able to say.
 * There's very little info published about the years between her parents' death and her schooling. I couldn't find anything to include aside from what's already there. Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:00, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * In a single year, she made as many as forty-three excursions to investigate crimes, even travelling to remote northern locations in the Arctic Circle. I initially read this as meaning that there was one year in which she made 43 trips and travelled to the Arctic Circle, but I don't think that's what's intended. I can't be sure what would work best without knowing exactly what the source says, but how about "Her investigations required frequent travel – up to forty-three trips in a single year – and McGill sometimes used a snowmobile, dog sled or float plane to reach the crime scenes, even travelling to remote northern locations in the Arctic Circle."?
 * I've edited the line with your suggestions: "Her investigations required frequent travel – up to forty-three trips in a single year – and McGill sometimes used a snowmobile, dog sled or float plane to reach crime scenes, once travelling all the way to the Arctic Circle." Sound good? Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:00, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * McGill used her resourcefulness to make do with dramatically fewer resources: a bit clumsy, and I think unnecessary -- wouldn't just "McGill made do with dramatically fewer resources" make the point just as effectively?
 * Definitely unnecessary -- I've trimmed it, as per your suggestion. :-) Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:00, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * She was such a thorough and articulate instructor that her teaching notes were once compiled for use in a student textbook in 1952. Using "such" like this makes it seem directly causative, as if anyone who had been equally thorough and articulate would also have had their teaching notes used in a textbook. Again I can't be sure what can be done without seeing the source, but could we do something like this: "She was a thorough and articulate instructor, and her teaching notes were compiled for use in a student textbook in 1952"?  I cut "once" as well -- I don't think it adds anything.
 * All sensible. I've made the edit. Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:00, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * her reputation as one of the few female members of the RCMP: I don't think "reputation" is the right word -- your reputation is typically about something that is a matter of opinion, such as your ability. I think what's meant is that she was well-known, and that the fact that she was one of the few female members of the RCMP was part of what made her well-known.  I can't offhand think of a better way to put this -- perhaps "her status as" or "her prominence as"?
 * I've gone with "status". Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:00, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Did any of the three cases you give details for have enough coverage at the time or later to be worth an article in their own right, and hence a redlink from this article?
 * The Northern Trapper case could arguably be given its own article (it received plenty of media attention across Canada at the time), so I've redlinked Oskar Schwab. Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:00, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * The South Poplar case section's short second paragraph seems abrupt. If we make it "McGill determineid that there had been no foul play: the cause of death for the hitchhiker had been a simple heart attack." I think it would then flow well at the end of the first paragraph.
 * Done! Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:00, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * She traveled extensively whenever possible: I don't know what "whenever possible" means here.
 * I've rephrased: "She enjoyed travelling abroad and did so extensively...". Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:00, 11 December 2020 (UTC)


 * We don't seem to have an article on Cherry Valley, Manitoba; how about a red link?
 * I can't find any info on Cherry Valley, Manitoba, so I'm guessing it's too small -- I don't think it warrants a link at this point. Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:00, 11 December 2020 (UTC)

Overall the article is in good shape; this are all minor points. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:59, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I think I've addressed your points. Thanks for the copyedits! You smoothed over a number of bumps I hadn't noticed. Alanna the Brave (talk) 01:00, 11 December 2020 (UTC)

Support. Your changes all look good. A very readable article. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:44, 11 December 2020 (UTC)

Comments Support by Pendright
The article is interesting and well written. Pendright (talk) 08:10, 13 December 2020 (UTC)

Lead:
 * Nicknamed "the Sherlock Holmes of Saskatchewan" for her deductive skills and public fame,[1]
 * Replace the comma at the end of the sentence with a period.
 * Hmm -- this clause is not intended as an independent clause (it doesn't have a subject, only a verb, and it introduces the rest of the sentence), so I can't change the ending punctuation without rewriting the beginning as well (e.g. "She was nicknamed..."). Unless you feel strongly about it, I'd prefer to keep this clause the way it is. Alanna the Brave (talk) 21:10, 13 December 2020 (UTC)
 * <>My apology for jumping at the incorrect conclusion - the sentence should stand as written. Pendright (talk) 05:29, 14 December 2020 (UTC)


 * McGill influenced the development of forensic pathology in Canadian police work and was internationally noted for her expertise in the subject.
 * Add a comma after work to join the independent clauses.
 * The first clause is independent, but the second is not (no subject, only the verb "was"), so I think the lack of comma is grammatically acceptable here. Alanna the Brave (talk) 21:10, 13 December 2020 (UTC)
 * <>As I understnd it, both subject and object pronouns can be be used in an indepenent clause to form a complete sentence - so what's the problem with "her"? Pendright (talk) 05:40, 14 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Alrighty -- digging out my grammar book to double check this: Maxine Ruvinsky's Practical Grammar says that an independent clause requires a subject and verb, and it has to be able to stand on its own. The clause "McGill influenced the development of forensic pathology in Canadian police work" does make sense on its own, but "and was internationally noted for her expertise in the subject" does not make sense on its own. The pronoun "her" is not doing enough to stand in for a subject -- it's not connected to the verb "was" (as the subject needs to be), but rather is working as part of the predicate to provide additional information beyond the subject/verb --> What was McGill internationally noted for? Her expertise on the subject. I can't locate any sources that say an object pronoun can create an independent clause, but if you have one, please pass it on! I'm happy to pick up something new. Alanna the Brave (talk) 13:49, 14 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Poking my nose in to say that I think the sentence is OK as written -- I think adding a comma would be a stylistic choice and is not grammatically required, though it would be OK. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 14:02, 14 December 2020 (UTC)
 * No problem! Pendright (talk) 20:50, 15 December 2020 (UTC)

where she was hired first as the provincial bacteriologist and
 * where she was hired first as the provincial bacteriologist and then the provincial pathologist.
 * How about -> where she was first hired?
 * Conflicted about this one -- I'm using the modifier words "first" and "then" to describe the two jobs rather than the word "hired", so I'd like to leave "first" where it is. However, your comment has made me realize that I could improve the parallel structure within this sentence by adding "as" to the second part --> "she was hired first as the provincial bacteriologist and then as the provincial pathologist". How does that sound?
 * <>Okay - Pendright (talk) 05:40, 14 December 2020 (UTC)


 * and she continued to act as a consultant to the RCMP until her death -> in 1959.
 * Done! Alanna the Brave (talk) 21:10, 13 December 2020 (UTC)

Early life:
 * Frances Gertrude McGill was born on November 18, 1882[2][3][note 1] in Minnedosa, Manitoba.
 * In this date format, a comma is required after the year.
 * Done. Alanna the Brave (talk) 21:10, 13 December 2020 (UTC)


 * n 1915, McGill completed her medical degree at the University of Manitoba, receiving the Hutchison Gold Medal for highest academic standing,[9][10] the Dean's Prize and an award for surgical knowledge.[8
 * for [the] highest academic standing -> add the definite article.
 * As it currently stands, I'm using "Hutchison Gold Medal for highest academic standing" as a single descriptive phrase about this award, just like "an award for surgical knowledge" (rather than "an award for HER surgical knowledge"). I could change this, but I think it's correct in its current form. Sound okay? Alanna the Brave (talk) 21:10, 13 December 2020 (UTC)
 * <>Okay Pendright (talk) 06:01, 14 December 2020 (UTC)

Pathologist:
 * Her personal motto was reportedly "Think like a man, act like a lady and work like a dog
 * Is a punctuation mark needed after reportedly?
 * Since it's a motto rather than a quoted piece of dialogue (no "she said" involved), I don't think a comma is required to set it off from the rest of the text. Let me know if you have reason to think otherwise, however. Alanna the Brave (talk) 21:10, 13 December 2020 (UTC)
 * <>In which case, doesn’t the MOS suggest the use of italics.
 * Not that I can find, anyway: in the section on italics, MOS says italics should only be used in quotations to add new emphasis or indicate the use of non-English words. Alanna the Brave (talk) 13:49, 14 December 2020 (UTC)

Northern trapper:
 * races of blood in his shack.
 * "shack" might be worthy of a link?
 * Sure -- now linked. Alanna the Brave (talk) 21:10, 13 December 2020 (UTC)


 * The following February, police arrested Schwab's former trapping partner Thomas Kisling, who admitted to killing Schwab but subsequently tried to argue that it had been accidental or in self defence.[22
 * "Thomas Kisling" -> Shouldn't this be set-off by commas?
 * That sounds right -- I've added the extra comma. Alanna the Brave (talk) 21:10, 13 December 2020 (UTC)

Death:
 * McGill died on January 21, 1959, in Winnipeg,[10][25] having been diagnosed with breast cancer and later pleurisy.
 * Consider addding her age at death.
 * Done! Alanna the Brave (talk) 21:10, 13 December 2020 (UTC)

Finished - Pendright (talk) 08:10, 13 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I've addressed your initial comments (either incorporated or otherwise responded to). Let me know if you think any further edits are still needed. Thanks for the review! I appreciate your taking the time. Alanna the Brave (talk) 21:10, 13 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I've responded to the questions/remarks you have about some of my review comments. Thank you for the detailed and prompt reply to them. Pendright (talk) 06:10, 14 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks! I've responded again to the last two items. You're certainly putting me through my paces, grammar-wise. ;-) Alanna the Brave (talk) 13:49, 14 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I'm pleased to support this nomination. For my part, civil discourse on the rules of the road can be beneficial. Thank you for your participation. Good luck as you head for the FAC finish line. Pendright (talk) 20:50, 15 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Your support is greatly appreciated, . Your comments and suggestions helped me take a much closer look at this article (and make some solid improvements). Alanna the Brave (talk) 21:10, 15 December 2020 (UTC)